After swearing off the annual event during a recent interview with USA Today, the Iron Man 3 actress expounded at length about the disastrous evening over a raucous meal with Australian radio hosts Kyle and Jackie O -- though she did warn them that she was "drunk already" after "a martini went straight to my head and now wine with no food."
"Do you want me to be honest?" she asked the hosts in an audio recording from the meal. "It sucked. It seems like it's the best thing in the world, you always think, 'Oh my god, it's gonna be so glamorous and amazing and you're going to see all these people' and then you get there and it's so hot and it's so crowded and everyone's pushing you."
The 40-year-old actress, who wore a modest hot pink Valentino Haute Couture Corolle gown, added that she didn't think the punk theme was even age appropriate.
"I think we're all a bit old to dress up punk," she said by way of explaining why she didn't get into the spirit of things. "I just went as kind of normal." (Her former BFF Madonna, 54, embodied the punk theme with a racy fishnet body stocking, a studded jacket, and hot pink pumps.)
Paltrow even took a shot at pal Kanye West, who performed at the Met Gala. "Kanye West was playing and he was all furious and he threw his microphone down and it was all drama," she complained of the "intense" evening. "I don't know why."
One thing she did enjoy about the evening, however, was getting to meet Korean rapper Psy, whom she and husband Chris Martin hunted down on the crowded red carpet.
"We're at the Met Ball and our son is obsessed with [Psy]…so we went up and Chris was like, 'Hello, I'm from the band Coldplay,' but then Psy didn't seem to know who he was," she recounted. "But then he put two and two together and he was really happy to meet Chris. And we said, 'We're so sorry to bother you, but could we have a picture for our children?'"
"I like his style. it's like MC hammer meets a Scottish sort of -- I don't know what's happening," she added as she showed the radio hosts a picture.
Paltrow also opened up about the extreme response to the scandalous Antonio Berardi dress she wore at the Apr. 24 Hollywood premiere of Iron Man 3 -- which featured a daring sheer side panel that exposed the entirety of her leg, from hip to toe.
"I told Ellen [DeGeneres] that I had an emergency, and basically because I wasn't wearing underwear with that dress, I had a situation where … because underwear keeps everything … so I had no underwear so I wasn't tucked in properly," she finally managed to explain. "So they were like you need to shave it. …so now I look like an 8-year-old girl."
"It was all a disaster," she concluded.