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video: Rihanna: Going Back to Chris Brown Was "Wrong"

Thursday – November 05, 2009 – 7:52am

In her first television interview since she was assaulted by Chris Brown, Rihanna says it was "humiliating" and "traumatizing" to admit the incident happened and that it was "wrong" of her to take Brown back.

"That's embarrassing that that's the type of person that I fell in love with," the singer, 21, told Diane Sawyer on ABC's Good Morning America Thursday (the entire interview airs Friday on 20/20). "So far in love. So unconditional that I went back. It's humiliating to say this happened. To accept that? It's a traumatizing experience."

Look back on Chris Brown and Rihanna in happier days

During the interview, she confirmed that Brown, 20, held her in a headlock twice and bit her on the ear and fingers the night before the Grammys.

"I stayed. I even went back after he beat me, which was wrong," Rihanna said. "But again ... I'm a human being and people put me on a very unrealistic pedestal. And all these expectations, I'm not perfect."

See how Rihanna has changed through the years

Rihanna - who drops a new album, Rated R, Nov. 23 - said she wanted to speak out now to help others who may be in a similar situation.

"It's completely normal to go back. It's not right. I learned the hard way, but again, this is what I want people to know," she said. "When I realized that my selfish decision for love could result in some young girl getting killed, I could not be easy with that part. I couldn't be held responsible for going back.

"Even if Chris never hit me again, who is to say that their boyfriend won't? Who's to say that they won't kill these girls?" she went on. "These are young girls and I just didn't realize how much of an impact I had on these girls' lives until that happened."

See more celebs who have survived abuse

Rihanna said the past few months have been one of the "most lonely times" for her because "nobody understands what it's like."

Said the singer, "There are a lot of women who've experienced what I did, but not in the public. So it made it really difficult. I just felt like, 'Oh my God, here it goes, my little bit of privacy.'"

Look back at Rihanna's eclectic style

Meanwhile, Brown -- who was sentenced to five years of probation, six months of community service and one year of domestic violence counseling in August -- tells MTV News in a new interview that he still doesn't understand his actions.

"My thoughts [when I look back on it now] is like, 'Why did it happen?' Like, 'What was I thinking? What is wrong with you?' That's what I'm thinking with myself. That's what my thoughts are, basically, now," says the R&B musician.

He said he is ready to move on.

Said Brown, "It's like, 'How do we get past it? How do you, Chris' – talking to myself – 'how do you go from point A to point B? How do you learn from your mistakes, turn it into a positive and help other people with the situation, and at the end of the day become the person that you want to be?'"

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Comments

(70)

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  • November 09, 2009 - 8:52am nikki Says:

    let that go get over it
  • November 09, 2009 - 8:43am nikki Says:

    rihanna your such a crybaby
  • November 08, 2009 - 11:55pm andrene.. Says:

    ONCE A BEATER/HITTER ALWAYZ A BEATER/HITTER...
  • November 08, 2009 - 5:54pm Anon Says:

    Megan and Flora please shut up!!! You both sound like annoying women who are all for 'Girl-Power' and that bulls**t. But let me ask you this, why do women always moan on when men say they are physically stronger and more athletic than women, and say it's wrong and that women are just as capable as men? But then when it comes to physical abuse, if a man hits a woman there's a whole eruption about it, but if it was the other way, nobody would give a sh*t. Weird ain't it. I'm not saying that what Chris Brown did was a good thing, coz it wasn't. But for god sake the guy is 20 years old. Just 20. He isn't even legally allowed to drink yet!! He made a mistake, regretted it unbelievably, hates himself for doing it, handed himself into the police, pleaded guilty, got his conviction, did his community service, said sorry about a million times, enrolled on a host of different therapy courses for domestic violence and was respectful to Rihanna by keeping it all between the two of them. But then she goes and blurts it all out? Who sounds in the wrong there? In her interview she didn't even sound like she cared about the incident. It was also wrong of her to say that she was ashamed she fell in love with 'That type of person',when its quite clear he isn't that type of person.
  • November 08, 2009 - 10:57am Aimee Says:

    I don't think she's speaking now because she has an album coming out; she probably knows people are going to ask her about it anyway because she'll be doing more interviews to promote the album. I support her. As a victim of verbal abuse, I know how difficult it can be to get out - there's the fear of that person. They threaten you when you try to leave. So her behavior is very common. When you are trapped in that web, you don't realize you have choices. The "crazy making" behavior (as psychologists call it) the abuser demonstrates leaves the victim bewildered. As the victim, you just want it to go away and feel normal, by any means possible. For her that might have been going back to him, as senseless as that seems to anyway on the outside. Please, can we have compassion for other people instead of judging them?
  • November 07, 2009 - 9:16am Johnson Says:

    violance against women is a global phenomenon, those women who support same,out of selfish motives are doing more harm to the women of the world than good. And for the men, what is your pride, what will you tell your son/daughter(S) about the future and how will the world be like?
  • November 07, 2009 - 8:51am Johnson Says:

    Gender equality did not consider male/female's strength such that you can hit your girl several times, cause she was the frist?
  • November 06, 2009 - 2:08pm jess Says:

    November 05, 2009 - 6:51pm s Says: She is only trying to promote her album now.. They are both in the wrong. She should not have hit him and he should not have hit her...Lets all move on. I am still trying to understand why is she famous in the first place. ----------------------------------------------------- Why is she famous??? umm because she is talented and she makes great music. You may think that they are both in the wrong, but I do not remember reading an article where she says she hit him as well.
  • November 06, 2009 - 12:34pm MEGAN Says:

    ***SHAME ON U WOMEN WHO DON'T SUPPORT HER***
  • November 06, 2009 - 12:19pm megan Says:

    ---->VA soo cluless u will never get it ur 1 sad pathetic person!!!
  • November 06, 2009 - 1:02am FLORA Says:

    VA, YOUR AN IDIOT. WHAT THE F--K DO YOU THINK YOU DO WHEN YOU GIVE A MEN EXCUSES. I DON'T CARE HOW MANY TIMES HE SAYS, "I'M SORRY." OR HOW MUCH SHIT HE PICKS UP ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. HE'S A F--KEN LOSER THAT IS APOLOGOZING TO REGAIN A CAREER. WHAT ELSE DO YOU EXPECT.IT WASN'T THE 1ST TIME HE BEAT HER. THINK ABOUT IT. THROW HIS ASS IN JAIL LET SOME GUY TWICE HIS SIZE BEAT THE SH-T OUT OF HIM THEN I'LL TAKE HIS SORRY'S. ONLY PUNKS BEAT ON WOMEN. THAT LITTLE PEICE OF CRAPE IS A PUNK.HE HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO SAY SORRY. NO MATTER WHAT SHE DID TO HIM TO PISS HIM OFF HE COULD OF MANNED UP AND GOT OUT THE CAR AND WALKED AWAY. BUT IT WAS EASIER, AT THE TIME, TO BEAT HER UP. I HOPE HE F--KS UP AGAIN AND GETTS THROWN IN JAIL AND HER FANS KICK HIS AS-. I THINK SHE IS BRAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT. WOMEN GO THREW IT EVERYDAY BUT SHE HAD TO DEAL WITH AS THE PUBLIC WATCHED. STAY STRONG.
  • November 05, 2009 - 6:51pm s Says:

    She is only trying to promote her album now.. They are both in the wrong. She should not have hit him and he should not have hit her...Lets all move on. I am still trying to understand why is she famous in the first place.
  • November 05, 2009 - 5:06pm VA Says:

    so, he apologized, he took the blame, he took a FELONY charge, he never blamed her for anything (& we are not sure what happen in the car), he picked up trash on the side of a road (& not many celebrities would have done that) and he NEVER spoke about their private problems in public!! he is a young man who made a big mistake and he did every right thing he could do and it is still not good enough for people. people make mistakes and so do celebrities once something happens there is no way of turning back in time, but some choose to do the right thing afterwards and others don't. chris brown did and people, including rihanna need to get over it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i understand that what rhianna went through is bad thing i never denied that but that girl needs to leave it where its at. telling people about it will just bring up even more shi* and for what??/ its not like there is anything else chris can do to apologize...RIHANNA-leave it alone!!! what u went through it sucks but there is nothing else chris can do!! if u dont want to be a britney spears then stoppppp putting your issues back into the public eye because tomorrow you will regret it just like britney did!!!!!!! oh and btw, we like your music but the more u talk the more people realize how annoying u actually are!!
  • November 05, 2009 - 4:17pm DB Says:

    I think she is speaking because she doesn't have a choice!! Entertainment is her living and she is wise enough to know that she will be asked 2million times about the incident and she and her team have decided to take control of the curiosity!! I'm Proud of her for being so couragious..her work will speak for itself!! She is a VICTIM and has the right to speak when she is d*amn good and ready!! All of the ladies who do not support her....shame on you!!
  • November 05, 2009 - 3:32pm CJ Says:

    what is wrong with you women. who cares if you don't like her all that much or at all. it doesn't mean that chris had the right to hit her. he's a big guy she's fairly tiny. yet you women want to blame her and side with the guy. no wonder men are able to screw women over all the time. stupid, dumb girls.anyone can take you for a ride.
  • November 05, 2009 - 3:29pm Anonymous Says:

    How many times does Chris have to say, "at the end of the day?" He says in every interview. Get an education.
  • November 05, 2009 - 3:11pm sacchi Says:

    i asked my 9 year old son to tell me why it is not ok to hit or push girls and this is what he said: " right now we are all the same size mostly but someday the boys will get a lot bigger and stronger so we can't get into the habit of being rough with girls because it won't be fair in the future" so i asked what if a girl is yelling and hitting him: "i get away from her and if she's still bothering i tell a teacher" funny (and good)
  • November 05, 2009 - 3:04pm sacchi Says:

    "ME" you're an idiot! saying "we know how to push a mans buttons and it takes two to tango" is all wrong. that's what men tell women all the time. they say stuff like: " if you weren't so..., if you didn't..., why do you make me..." and here you are saying that stuff to women to make them second guess themselves again. most women that are in these relationships are going through some confusion and self doubt. they are usually experiencing low self esteem and lack of confidence. it's not ok to hit in a relationship. violence isn't a part of healthy love. there are always annoying people in the world but you don't keep getting in fights with them you just exclude them from your life. never accept abuse!
  • November 05, 2009 - 3:02pm sacchi Says:

    "ME" you're an idiot! saying "we know how to push a mans buttons and it takes two to tango" is all wrong. that's what men tell women all the time. they say stuff like: " if you weren't so..., if you didn't..., why do you make me..." and here you are saying that stuff to women to make them second guess themselves again. most women that are in these relationships are going through some confusion and self doubt. they are usually experiencing low self esteem and lack of confidence. it's not ok to hit in a relationship. violence isn't a part of healthy love. there are always annoying people in the world but you don't keep getting in fights with them you just exclude them from your life. never accept abuse!
  • November 05, 2009 - 2:33pm anonymous Says:

    She's probably doing this because she has to promote her album one way or another and she knew this would come up since she has yet to address it. She's sharing it on her terms. It is awful to have people saying she egged him on or deserved this. I'm sure their fighting was mutual but I don't remember seeing a picture of Chris Brown's face looking like hers did. I sincerely hope people who think that aren't raising sons that are being taught it's okay to beat a woman if she "pushes your buttons."

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