Talk about drama! The Aug. 30 episode of Bachelor in Paradise opened with the Joe and Samantha saga in full swing, with Joe fuming that Samantha had agreed to go on a date with Justin.
"It's the dumbest s— I've ever seen in my life," Joe declared to the camera. "It's not fair. It's not fair to Joe. I am hurt. I'm disappointed. I'm frustrated."
Cue Samantha — who then told Joe the good news that she changed her mind and didn't want to go on the date with Justin after all. Explaining why she had initially accepted Justin's invite, Sam said she blamed it "on the drama." Joe was quick to forgive the stunning brunette and the two headed down the beach, arm-in-arm.
Justin and Amber Go on a Date
Samantha then told Justin she couldn't go with him after all. To his credit, Justin let the news roll off his back and asked Amber out instead. She accepted, but only because she was hoping to make Dan jealous.
For their outing, Amber and Justin walked around a charming beach town and enjoyed some salsa dancing. At one point, Amber got Justin to lose his shirt, revealing an impressive set of abs and a serious sunburn.
"Amber's hips are very hypnotizing," Justin said to the camera, clearly pleased with himself for thinking that up. Not surprisingly, the dancing led to kissing, and more kissing.
At first, Amber seemed excited about Justin, but by the end of the day she was in tears, wondering if she'd made a mistake by going with him when she really wanted Dan. Shortly after they returned to Paradise, she got her answer.
Amber quickly assured Dan that she was thinking about him all day, clearly hoping he would say the same. Instead he said he was "glad" she had a good time and told her that he didn't care when she left for her date with Justin. Ouch.
"I love you as a person. I think you're amazing," he said, before adding, "You just can't force something that's not there." It goes without saying that this was not the reaction she was seeking.
"I regret going out with Justin. I kind of blew it," Amber cried to camera.
Chris Arrives and Gives His Date Card to… Joshua
Bachelor nation vet Chris arrived to take his fifth stab at finding love on one of the franchise's shows, but it didn't work out so well. The alum spent most of the day drinking — and ignored all of the women completely. So it wasn't that surprising that the ladies weren't too impressed with him.
When he was so hammered he could barely talk, he managed to scrape together enough words to ask Tenley out. She said no and suggested he go find someone else to ask, but Chris quickly realized there weren't going to be any takers.
Seeing that Chris had an unusable date card, Joshua asked Chris to give it to him so that he could take Tenley out — and, in a moment of non-douchiness, Chris gave it to him.
Tenley and Joshua Go on Chris's Date
A delighted Tenley joined Joshua on what would have been a date with Chris. Generally speaking, it was a pretty tame (i.e. boring) date, but they seemed to enjoy it. Mostly, they ate cheese — aphrodisiac cheese, to be exact.
"It might be working," Joshua said to the camera with a grin, later adding, "I care more for Tenley than I have any other girl." Unlike most of the one-on-ones as of late, this one did not end with the two spending the night together, just for the record.
Dan Makes a Play for Samantha
While Amber was still reeling from Dan telling her he wasn't interested, Dan was busy making a play for Samantha. "There's pretty much only one person I see myself with. It's Sam," he confessed to Carly.
"She is the only person here that I am extremely attracted to. We've had some really great conversation and I really think the only thing holding her back, is Joe," is reasoned to the camera. "I'm literally looking at them over here and I'm watching them on a daybed and I want to throw up." He then compared Joe and Samantha's relationship to putting ketchup on a filet mignon. In case it's unclear, Joe is the ketchup.
Juelia and Carly were both mystified by Dan's interest in Sam, but he wasted no time pulling her aside. He was just in the middle of grilling her about Joe when Joe came over and pulled her away.
"Joe is basically trying to pee on Samantha like she is a fire hydrant," Dan said to the camera as Joe and Sam made out in a hidden stairway. When Sam returned, Dan predicted that in the real world, Joe would prove to be unbelievably jealous.
"I would hate to see you end up with a bad guy," Dan concluded.
Ashley I. and Amber Battle for Jared
In a (desperate) attempt to salvage her relationship with Jared, Ashley I. penned him a long, effusive letter. Deeming herself a "natural born writer" the virginal Kardashian wannabe handed him a few folded sheets of paper and instructed him to read it. Jared read just enough of the letter out loud to make it clear that its author sounded just as crazy on the page as she does in real life.
That’s when Amber strolled over to test the waters with Jared, who seemed rather pleased to hear she was interested. She then told Ashley I. that she wanted to pick Jared, and Ashley I. — who was already on pins and needles wondering what Jared thought of her tome — reacted about as well to that as you would expect.
"I'm going to be involved with Jared — for as long as he's here," Ashley I. promised to camera. "This is the worst experience of my life."
Samantha Makes a Shocking Decision
The rose ceremony began with the predictable flowers being passed out. Carly gave hers to Kirk, Jade to Tanner, Tenley to Joshua, and Juelia to Mikey. Ashley S. continued things with Nick by giving him her rose, while Ashley I. did her best to continue things with Jared by giving him hers.
Seeing that Jared had already received his pass to stay in Paradise, Amber gave hers to Justin, leaving Dan and Joe on the chopping block. Samantha handed out the final flower of the night, giving hers to — drumroll, please — Dan! Seriously. After all that, Sam gave her rose to Dan.
Joe immediately pulled Sam aside and demanded, "Why did you do that? It doesn't make sense." She disagreed and said it was just "too much drama" following her. He then accused her of leading him on and she demanded an apology from him for all of the drama. Neither got what they wanted.
"Joe fell on the sword for Samantha and then she took the sword and stabbed him in the back about 18 times," Tanner explained.
But even though Sam was the one who got to stay in Paradise, her reputation was damaged –possibly beyond repair.
"Not only do I not know who she is, but I don't want to know," Juelia said to the camera, while Carly added that Sam was "equally responsible" for what had happened.
Sam tried to apologize to the group and insisted she wasn't part of any plotting, but no one seemed to buy it — except maybe Dan, who claimed he didn't "see any red flags" with her (maybe because he was wearing blinders?).
In the car ride out of Paradise, Joe finally showed off that alleged text from Sam instructing him to "do whatever it takes" to stay. It's unclear why, after threatening to show it to the group so many times, he decided to show it to the audience only instead.
Chelsea Arrives and Carly Puts Her to Work
Chelsea, from Chris Soules' season, arrived in Paradise with a date card in hand and decided to wait a bit before giving it out. Seizing the moment, Carly pulled the bubbly blond aside to give her the lowdown on the guys and set the wheels in motion on her plan to send Samantha home.
After running through the guys who were spoken for (Kirk topped her list), she mentioned that Dan was "very available" and "adorable." She added that Dan is her brother's friend. "Dan would be the way to go," she assured the new arrival, reasoning that if Dan and Chelsea hit it off he wouldn't give his rose to Sam and she would be sent packing.
Tell Us: Do you think Chelsea will come between Samantha and Dan?
