Kate Gosselin blogs that she's more like a referee than a mom because her eight kids can get so out of control.
After describing fights over the bathroom, who's staring at whom and the kids smacking each other, she writes, "Help! Where is my referee uniform???? Honestly, this is every minute of every day in my house with eight kids!!"
"OK, I'll admit it. There are the sweet moments of love and compassion to balance these never-ending stressful encounters, but for some reason, these unloving loud outbursts are what I tend to remember," adds Gosselin, 35, who split from her husband Jon, 33, after 10 years of marriage last summer.
How does she stop the bickering?
"I'm to the point where I hold up my hand and say, 'I'm not the complaint department, and I don't like how black and white stripes look on me, so go work it out. If you can't, I'll help you.' And I leave it to them," write Gosselin of her kids, who, Us Weekly has reported, are mostly raised by nannies.
She says she spends time "mentally devising" how she'll deal with her sextuplets — who just turned 6 — and twins before "the next time I hear the stampede of unrest coming my way."
Sometimes, she considers "running in the other direction and hiding," she admits of the "emotionally tiring and time consuming" task of raising children.
"And I have a feeling there are many more jungle outbursts to be handled," she says. "Help me!!!!!!!!"
Her next reprieve is the May 24 and 25 finale of Dancing With the Stars, when she'll leave her kids at their $1.1 million Pennsylvania home and return to Los Angeles.
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