It's been two years since Teen Mom's Catelynn Lowell gave her daughter, Carly, up for adoption, but not a day goes by when the 19-year-old doesn't wonder what could have been.
Chatting with a friend who also gave a child up for adoption, Lowell — engaged to Carly's dad, Tyler Baltierra — worries that she may not be able to maintain a close relationship with her daughter as she grows.
"I really don't feel like I'm doing the things I need to do to build the type of relationship I want," Lowell says in a preview clip from Tuesday's episode of Teen Mom. "It's scary, because I don't want them to shut me out," she continues of Carly's adoptive parents, fighting back tears. "People always tell [me] 'you aren't a mom.' We are moms, but in a different way. We're not their parents, but we are moms."
In an effort to stay close with their daughter, Lowell and Baltierra visit her annually — and recently enjoyed a two-day reunion in June.
"Tyler jumped right in and played with her, but I was a little standoffish and let her come to me," Lowell tells Us Weekly of the meeting.
And while Carly may not be a constant presence in Lowell's life now, she has made quite the impression. Lowell hopes to be a teacher — a goal intensified by those precious annual visits. "Ever since Carly," she says, "I just love kids!"
Teen Mom airs Tuesdays at 10 p.m. (EST) on MTV.
By Allison Corneau for Us Weekly. For more Channel Surfing, click here.
