Chris Brown Says He Hated the Person He Saw in the Mirror: “This Is My White Flag”

Chris Brown: I Looked in the Mirror and Hated the Person I Saw
Chris Brown wrote on Instagram that he once "hated" the person he saw in the mirror, and that he was surrendering "to life and all its blessings." Courtesy of Chris Brown/Instagram

Not a fan of the man in the mirror. Chris Brown penned a thoughtful note on Instagram on Thursday, May 28, addressing his controversial past.

"I always thought I knew the concept of love," Brown, 26, wrote, alongside a photo of himself lounging in some tropical locale. "Fame and Money can get in the way of that. Most of my issues always deal with love and me being in my feelings. Not to mention me being a dog sometimes. I can't speak for everyone but I can say that my actions contributed a lot to my karma. Being jealous and angry and controlling."

In fact, there was self-loathing involved. "There [have] been times where I looked in the mirror and hated the person I see," the rapper wrote.

Brown's history is complex and controversial. The star was arrested in 2009 after brutally assaulting his famous then-girlfriend Rihanna. Since the incident, Brown served time in jail, executed his community service hours, and was involved in other fights.

Most recently, his off-again, on-again girlfriend, Karrueche Tran, broke up with the singer after it was revealed that he had fathered a little girl while the two were still an item.

Brown claims he's changed. "I talk to God a lot now," the rapper wrote. "He's given me so much and I feel like I waste his gifts becuz of my impulsive personality. The world is full of negativity and I feel I play a part in it becuz of the choices I've made or mistakes. I tend to accept the negative or the riff raff becuz I know what it's like to be a young black 'n—-' in America."

For the rapper, love will always be the answer. "I always see the good in people even when they don't see it," he wrote. "I love others more than myself at times. Everything u see on the surface does not reflect what's inside. This is my white flag. I surrender to life and all its blessings. I refuse to be petty and attention seeking. To know me is to love me. Good Bad UGLY! Sincerely, Konfuzed."

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