Pray for the goats! Party Down South was even more turnt and tumultuous than ever this week, with Ryan "Daddy" Richards traumatizing a herd of livestock, Walt Windham making out with yet another "marlin," and Tiffany Heinen sage-smudging the house. What happens in Florida definitely doesn't stay in Florida, so relive the biggest moments below. If you dare.
In Which Goats Have Their Spirits Broken
File this under Goat Problems! The Party Down South mansion housed two goats this season, which was an unmitigated disaster. Despite trying to frolic peacefully, the animals were interrupted when Daddy decided to view their nether regions. "It looks like a garbage bag with two kick balls in it," he mused.
Another equally important Daddy thought, unrelated to goats? "I've heard it's impossible not to be thinking of something at all times," he said. "I've also heard that your tongue never stops moving. Ever."
In Which Daddy Strips on a Bar
Daddy tried to reel in a "marlin" this week, and sadly it was a miserable failure. While stripping on the bar to impress his lady friend, he got tangled in a curtain and started inexplicably yelling "I'm a pony!" And that wasn't even the weirdest part. After wandering into his room in a fit of giggles, Daddy lay down on the bed to watch Walt hook up with his girlfriend, occasionally muttering the word "graham cracker."
In Which Mattie Organizes a Family Meeting
Tensions in the house were at an all-time high thanks to Mattie Lynn Breaux morphing into drunk Martha, so she organized a family meeting. "Right now, it's not a family at all. It's sad we fight each other," Mattie said. "That's not healthy." While the women of the house agreed that the guys regularly ditch them for other girls, the men saw things slightly differently. "I don't hang out with any chicks," Walt argued. "I just pull one from the bar and hope that she leaves before I wake up."
Tiffany ended up solving the problem by burning some sage to erase the negative energy in the house, and the men agreed to spend more quality time with their friends.
In Which the Boys Are (Almost) Back in Town
Lauren White and Tiffany invited their respective boyfriends to the Party Down South house, and while they didn't show up in this week's episode, we anticipate an explosive reunion. Mostly because a card-reading psychic told Lauren that her relationship was an epic fail.
In Which Lyle and Daddy Write Love Letters
Lyle A. Boudreaux is a man in love! The starry-eyed Southerner wrote an endearing and very misspelled love letter to his girlfriend, Santana, and his romantic gesture inspired Daddy to coin a note of his own. "The way your smile is," Daddy said while picking his nose. "Beautiful eyes. And god, I just wanna knock the bottom out of you right now. I like ya. I miss ya. God, I miss the way ya smell. Ya eyes. The way ya pretzel."
Watch Party Down South Thursdays at 9 p.m. ET on CMT.
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