Feel that chill? It's Yolanda Foster and she's cold as ice — partially because she won't stop cryogenically freezing herself, and partially because she's furious with Lisa Rinna, Lisa Vanderpump and Kyle Richards for questioning her Lyme disease diagnosis. The former model twirled on her haters during the Tuesday, February 9, episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, creating a drama storm that exploded during Erika Girardi's Pervert Night performance in San Diego. A taste of what's to come? Rinna said, "It's like having sex without an orgasm," among other gems.
Erika Takes on Pervert Night
Girardi unleashed her alter ego, Erika Jayne, during Pervert Night at a San Diego gay club, and the Housewives got in on the action. This diva prepped for the spotlight by picking out a fab outfit, uttering the sentence, "My vagina is hot, steamy," and (speaking of vaginas) spray-tanning her nether regions. "I don't quite know what to expect — maybe soft-core porn," Rinna mused before the show. "I think we're gonna see a full-blown orgy."
Girardi definitely delivered the goods, and her performance was basically the only nondramatic moment of the night — even Rinna was mind-blown! "I walked into Pervert Night, I saw Erika Jayne perform live," she said. "It's fabulous. I can see why the gays love her."
Yolanda Confronts Kyle and Lisa
While Foster didn't go to Pervert Night, she did take a moment to confront Kyle Richards and Vanderpump about questioning her children's Lyme diagnosis. These two denied any wrongdoing, but Foster kicked things up a notch by revealing Anwar and Bella's medical files. "I want you to read it," she told Vanderpump. "If you said that, I would love for you to apologize to them because this will come out. And I wouldn't want this to ruin your relationship with my children."
Sounds good, but Vanderpump didn't think she had anything to apologize for. "I don't really understand why Yolanda's saying I need to apologize to her children," she told cameras. "Mohamed told me they were fine, and that's what I thought."
Rinna and Girardi Face Off
So, how does Rinna fit into all this? Foster mentioned that Rinna was responsible for ratting out Rinna and Kyle — when in actuality Girardi threw them under the bus. Kyle ended up confronting Rinna on the way to Girardi's show, and she was quick to go on the defense: "She asked me about it, and I said, 'Listen, I was sitting next to them, and I did not hear the conversation.' I didn't say anything else, guys."
Rinna did some impromptu sleuthing and was furious when she realized that Girardi was the guilty party. In fact, she pulled a "j'accuse!" on Girardi, who completely denied any culpability. "I didn't say it," Girardi claimed, before admitting to cameras, "I am the person that told, 100 percent. But I don't want to talk about this right now."
Girardi successfully shut Rinna down, but it's probably safe to say they aren't about to be BFFs. "I feel like Erika has sat and lied to all of us," Rinna confessed. "It's like having sex without an orgasm. Nothing happened." Truer words have never been spoken.
Kathryn Deals With First World Problems
In slightly less dramatic news, Kathryn Edwards and Eileen Davidson had a bonding moment while chatting about handbags. Basically, Edwards was appalled that Davidson doesn't spend money on superior leather and threw massive shade at her plebeian tote.
"Really? Huh," Edwards said, looking truly horrified. "If I see a great pair of shoes, my eyes instantly go to the bag. If the bag's janky, then I think the shoes are not great."
The good news is, Edwards solved this crisis with a cunning plan: "I'm gonna have to make a phone call to her husband and say, 'Listen, your wife is gonna drop 10 grand on some bags.' Hopefully, I can get her three for that. Maybe just two."
Thank god this problem has been solved — now we can sleep at night.
Tell Us: Was it wrong of Girardi to lie?
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airs on Bravo Tuesdays at 9 p.m. EST.
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