They may be heading to a baptism, but their behavior is far from holy.
On the Oct. 5 episodes of The Real Housewives of Orange County, the ladies focus on family time as they prepare for Tamra Judge’s baptism. Shannon Beador takes her daughters shopping for organic makeup, Briana Culberson et al visit her mother, Vicki Gunvalson, while Brooks Ayers is conveniently out of town — and vows to "kill" him if he's lying about his cancer. Terry Dubrow also cracks a sex joke at breakfast in front of his children and Vicki calls the other women’s behavior “satanic.” So, rest assured, there’s still a whole lot of crazy this week. Read the recap for more!
The Doctor Is In
Shannon and David Beador’s marriage counselor made a home visit this week, but despite a year of couples therapy, the session still had some rocky moments.
“When this all started, I would have dark days, dark weeks. And then it turned into dark moments,” Shannon told the camera, reflecting on her emotional progress since David confessed to having an affair. “I have to say, in the last couple weeks, I’ve had days go by where I don’t think about it.”
The counselor praised Shannon for her growth and pointed out David’s hesitation to speak. When he replied that he was “more open and honest than a lot of people,” Shannon broke down.
“See, this is just an example of that,” she said. “All I think right now is when he said, ‘When I was with her [his mistress], I could say anything. And I can’t say anything to you.’” The counselor reminded Shannon that David didn’t end the marriage, and she stopped crying immediately.
“Months ago, if I had a dark moment or negative thought, it could take me forever to get out of it,” Shannon said in an interview. “But I go from being upset to being okay like this now.”
Ladies Who Lunch
Fresh off the heels of her home shopping channel debut on EVINE, Heather Dubrow went to lunch with Shannon and Tamra to catch up on all the latest gossip. The pals complimented Heather on her successful product launch and Tamra raved about one of the skincare line’s hidden benefits. “Not only does it give you good skin,” she joked, “it cures cancer.”
Tamra, of course, was referring to the ingredient resveratrol, an antioxidant with anti-aging benefits, which Brooks claimed to have been taking large quantities of as an alternative to chemotherapy.
“I said something about the resveratrol to Vicki at the Aries party,” Heather said, rolling her eyes. “And she goes, ‘Oh no, he’s just doing that to boost his immune system before going back to chemo.’”
All three women scoffed at yet another seeming inconsistency in Brooks and Vicki’s cancer claims. When Tamra mentioned seeing Brooks’ PET-CT scans, Heather was dumbfounded. “That’s ridiculous!” she shouted, before echoing the other women’s confusion as to why they would only show Tamra the medical records.
“Why did they choose you?” Heather asked. “I mean, if you wanted to prove it, wouldn’t you have Terry take a look at it? Someone who can actually read it?”
But with all of the spelling and grammatical mistakes in the medical documents, it’s doubtful a trained professional would have been able to make any sense of it. Plus, it’s always a little fun to see Tamra confused.
When the conversation took a much-needed, cancer conspiracy-free turn, Shannon thanked Tamra and Heather for their continued friendship and spilled some (apparently obviously) beans about her marriage.
“It’s such an unfortunate circumstance, what’s happening to Vicki, but I think because it is so unique and so different, I am so bonded with the both of you,” she said. “And as much as I am an open book there are certain things that I don’t like to talk about. I don’t like a lot of people to know, but David had an affair.”
Neither of the women pretended to look surprised and Tamra gave Heather a knowing side eye from across the table.
“I’m not going to say that I’m shocked,” Tamra said to the camera. “There’s been a lot of rumors going around Orange County about David’s affair.”
“I knew that David had an affair and I didn’t repeat it to anyone,” Heather bragged in an interview. “So if you want to know what girl code is… even when Shannon and I were not getting along at all, I did my best to protect her.” Somebody get this woman a gold medal!
Yet Another Lunch
On her last day of visiting her mom, aka the OG of the OC, Briana grabbed lunch with Tamra, where of course they talked about Brooks. Briana mentioned the “weird” feeling in the house since he had moved in and said that she keeps her children far away from Brooks. “If I have anything to do with it, I never want to see him for the rest of my life because of the stuff he’s done,” she told Tamra, before a flashback played of last season’s reunion where Briana bashed Brooks for suggesting that her husband start assaulting her.
“There’s absolutely nothing Brooks can do for me to accept him or to move past anything,” she said to the camera. “He has proven his character and all I care about is my mom.”
When Tamra relayed the other women’s concerns that Brooks was duping Vicki about having cancer, Briana looked upset and disturbed, but not totally shocked.
“When my mom first told me that Brooks had cancer, certain treatments that he was getting didn’t make any sense to me,” Briana explained to the camera. “He said that he had pancreatic cancer. If you have survived pancreatic cancer and you’re walking around a cocktail party like your sh-t doesn’t stink, I’m calling all of my nursing professors from college and putting him in a text book.”
Briana continued to question Brooks about the timeline of his chemotherapy and surgeries until he finally broke down and confessed that he was lying. “He told me that he had pancreatitis,” she said, “which is an inflammation of the pancreas that can be caused by alcohol abuse.” You can’t pull a fast one on nurse Briana!
“If he is lying about having cancer,” Tamra said, “[Vicki] needs to know.”
That’s one option. But Briana had something else in mind.
“I’ll kill him,” she responded. “I’ll kill him myself.”
Get Ready for the Jesus Party
On the morning of her baptism, Tamra was a nervous wreck. “It’s a pretty big day,” she told the camera. “I’m scared, I’m happy, and I’m nervous. I’m overwhelmed. I kind of feel like I’m getting married today.” Luckily for her, some of her friends were also a mess. But in a different way.
“I’m getting an at-home colonic,” Shannon told Tamra on the phone.
“So does that mean you won’t be full of sh-t when you get here?” the soon-to-be-baptized Housewife joked.
No, but she might be full of something else! Shannon’s pre-baptism cleanse backfired when “a piece of plastic broke off in her butt,” as Heather so eloquently explained to the stranger delivering Terry’s suit across town.
“It’s not fun to be me,” Shannon whined while lying on the bathroom floor with an enema. She called for David and the couple put their year of counseling to good use. “David was willing to go into unchartered territory and show his love for me to make sure that I was okay,” she explained to the camera. We’ll leave the interpretation up to you.
Meanwhile, Vicki let out her first “woohoo” in recent memory while leaving for the baptism — or “Jesus party,” as she prefers to call it. In an attempt to avoid yet another cancer-related conflict, Brooks decided to go to a friend’s house and Vicki’s brother Billy accompanied her to the ceremony.
“These ladies are trying to put confusion in my mind. I’m not confused, I know the truth,” Vicki said to the camera. “Satan loves confusion. This is Satan’s work.”
Now that’s the spirit, Vicki!
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