There’s a scene at the end of Mean Girls where Tina Fey’s Ms. Norbury gathers all the catty, fighting teens into the high school gym to hash out their differences. During the therapy session, one weepy girl gets up and tells the group, “I wish that I could bake a cake out of rainbows and smiles and we’ll all eat it and be happy.” Ms. Norbury then asks her, “Do you even go to this school?” Her cover blown, the girl responds sheepishly, “No, I just have a lot of feelings.”
On The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Amber Marchese is the feelings girl. (Remember how she cried the second time she met Teresa Giudice?) When news breaks that Teresa and her husband Joe may plead guilty to federal fraud charges — and Joe may go to prison — Amber immediately calls her new pal.
Before Teresa even picks up the phone, Amber is already sobbing. Teresa, for one, is perplexed. So is Teresa’s daughter, Gia (listening in, since Teresa has Amber on speakerphone). “Why is she crying?” Gia mouths to her mom. Teresa, seemingly annoyed, has no idea. “Maybe it was that time of the month?” she later wonders.
After Amber gathers her composure, she peppers Teresa with questions about the case (“I don’t pry,” Amber later says earnestly) and offers support. Then she hangs up and starts sobbing again when her husband, Jim walks into the room. Pull it together, girl.
Teresa’s sister-in-law, Melissa Gorga, and Teresa’s best friend, Dina Manzo, decide it would be a good idea to take Teresa away for a trip to Florida to get her mind off of things. One reservation: Bringing Marchese, who’s fighting with twins Nicole Napolitano and Teresa Aprea. “Maybe getting away will get them over this hump,” says Dina. Really? When has a Housewives trip not ended in a drunken fight?
File this one under Bad Idea as well: Dina invites all of the women — Amber and the twins included — over to her house to invite them on the trip and discuss a kids’ fashion show to benefit her charity, Project Ladybug. (There, Teresa mangles the English language again and reveals that a friend recently diagnosed with breast cancer needs a “vasectomy.”)
While Dina, Melissa and the twins talk charity, Teresa and Amber sneak away into a corner to discuss the previous episode’s drama, when Victoria Gotti told them that Teresa Aprea’s husband Rino had an affair with his mother-in-law. Amber doesn’t think it’s a good idea to tell the twins what they heard. “Out of respect for you and Victoria, I will never say anything.” Amber says to Teresa. She even manages to keep a straight face while saying that!
Teresa seems unfazed since she has more pressing matters. Namely, a date in court. At the end of the episode, she and Joe both plead guilty to fraud and await sentencing. Says Teresa disconsolately, “I can’t believe that this is my life.”
Tell Us: Do you think Teresa will be sentenced to prison?
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