Bipolar Demi Lovato Talks Cutting, Eating Disorders
Credit: Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic
No one was more surprised to learn that Demi Lovato is bipolar than the singer herself.
"I had no idea that I was even bipolar until I went into treatment," the Disney star reveals on 20/20 (airing April 22 at 10 p.m. EST). "I was actually manic a lot of the times that I would take on workloads, and I would say, 'Yes, I can do this, I can do this, I can do this.' I was conquering the world, but then I would come crashing down, and I would be more depressed than ever."
VIDEO: Demi talked about the "darkest time" of her life
Teased for her weight as a kid, Lovato developed an eating disorder that turned into a lifelong struggle with food. "That's kind of what I've been dealing with ever since," she admits. "I was compulsively overeating when I was eight years old. So, I guess, for the past 10 years, I've had a really unhealthy relationship with food."
Lovato's family helped her seek professional help to treat her bulimia, but the singer's depression only worsened when she began cutting herself at the age of 11.
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"It was a way of expressing my own shame, of myself, on my own body," the Princess Protection Program star says. "I was matching the inside to the outside. And there were some times where my emotions were just so built up, I didn't know what to do. The only way that I could get instant gratification was through an immediate release on myself."
The dangerous coping mechanism continued throughout Lovato's teen years. When she began touring with the Jonas Brothers in the summer of 2010 -- alongside her ex, Joe Jonas, no less -- Lovato once again using food as a means of control.
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"I was performing concerts on an empty stomach," she said. "I was losing my voice from purging. I was self-medicating. I was not taking medication for depression, and I literally was so emotionally whacked out that I took it out on someone that meant a lot to me."
During the South American leg of the Camp Rock 2 tour, Lovato physically struck one of her backup dancers, Alex Welch. "I take 100 percent full responsibility," Lovato now says. "I feel horrible. She was my friend."
The singer's family intervened and suggested treatment. "They sat me down and said, 'You can't live like this,'" Lovato recalls.
The "Here I Go Again" singer immediately quit the tour and checked into Timberline Knolls -- a residential treatment center in Illinois -- where she found healthier ways to deal with her emotions.
"For the first time in my life, I started to feel," Lovato says, citing her younger sister, Desperate Housewives star Madison De La Garza, as her inspiration to get better.
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"A picture of my little sister on my little bulletin board was one of the main things that kept me going," she recalls. "I just kept thinking, 'OK, set this example for your little sister.'"
Though Lovato recently announced she will not be returning to the Disney Channel series Sonny With a Chance, the teen star says she hopes to become an advocate for girls facing similar struggles.
"The real reason why I'm sitting down with you," Lovato told ABC News' Robin Roberts, "is to open up the eyes of so many young girls, that it doesn't have to be this way."
Tell Us What You Think
25I think Demi is a very strong person. I love her and her music (even if it is Disney Channel...). I'm proud of her.
i love her
ya'll that are saying that she is crazy you dont kno what its like to go through some of that stuff.So you guys have kno right to say any thing at all
Look, just because she cuts herself and she's bipolar and she has eating orders DOESN'T mean she's crazy. She needed help and she got it. I've been in her situation and I got help. I'm bipolar and I used to cut. I'm not crazy, so why is she?
Ok bullying is mean but its not that serious for Demi to do all those things shes crazy & I see why she got help
To all the people saying negitive, I think it's a little immature and pathetic of you guys to be making fun of someone in such a hard time in there life. Like you guys havn't been made of your whole life by someone that saw one flaw in you. Nobody's perfect and Demi Lavato hasn't done the worst and what did she do to you guys? She's a good person that just didn't know what to do at the time. Think about it she had nobody to go and talk to when she's really busy on the road. Demi most likly thought that cutting herself whould stop her from hurting anyone and let the pain breathe out of her skin.She stopped herself from eatting to punish herself for how she felt. It's horrable only eatting one meal a day but not when you're depressed you don't feel bad about it, you don't like anything about yourself and it hurts to not have one person to talk to.You feel worthless. Sometimes if your really depressed you start thinking something speaking to you really knows what you have to do but it's not true, you can start thinking on the negitive side and stay in the dark to hide who you really are. I feel HORRABLE thinking about how bad she feels. You guys are just to busy typing to see that your life is so pathetic you have no better to do than just sit around all day and say words that will someday come back and punch you in the mouth and kill you.I think everyone is just done with all of what everyone has to say insted of what the real people have to say. I'm sorry that I know how Demi feels.
Cut yourself you crazy freak would still stick my meat up you ass
Kim, your comment is very disturbing. bipolar is a serious mental illness and she feels bad about the things she did.she is not trying to make herself look and sound like a mess, she is not "Attention Starved" and she cant help it.
US.. what your calling demi is very disturbing and rude.Even at TEN i know that.Her name is not "Bipolar Demi" Its Demi Lovato. She is a beautiful and talented young lady and im proud of her for getting help.i love her and hope she gets better. good luck demi!!!!
I think demi is great. (: Sure she made a mistake... but everyone one does. I think talking bout it is good step & using her sister for inspiration is a really amazing idea. I hope all is well with Demi && she needs to be best friends with selena again. :)
i love demi and i love what she dose so i really love for her to keep up her hard worke u rock demi
It is horrible that you people that are supposedly educated should realize Demi's first name is not Bipolar. Bipolar is a serious illness that affects many and it is difficult for the person that has it and the family.
omg i cant believe it i loved demi i loved her on sonny with the chance and movie she acted on i hope u keep acting demi
Isabel, you comment is very disturbing. You say that Demi Bipolar is the disease of the moment. For your information Demi did not know she was Bipolar until she was in treatment for and eating disorder and depression as well as self mutilation it was during this treatment doctors diagnosed her by her symptoms that she was Bipolar. The diagnosis was even a surprise to Demi. Bipolar is a very serious disease that can cost the sufferers life. Lucky for Demi that medication and therapy is helping her overcome her diagnosis. She will have this the rest of her life and will constantly have ups and down.
Demi Lovato is one of my favorite girls on the Disney channel. She is beautiful. I am rooting for her! I hope she gets better as I think she has a good head on her shoulders unlike the rest of these wannabe trashy celebs that think they have real talent and do not. Demi - she is a classy girl!
US...You need to hire some new editors. Anyone with half a brain knows that it is not only rude to label someone according to their mental illness, but it is about as politically incorrect as you can get. I'm in Special Education and deal with kids who struggle with these labels that they are given everyday, she isn't Bipolar Demi. She is Demi Lovato, singer/songwriter/actress and so many other wonderful things, and happens to struggle with biopolar disorder. And I commend her and everyone else that comes out to talk about it, because it can and does help others who feel alone. In a world where people can't admit mental illness due to being LABELED (thank you US) as weak, people like Catherine Zeta Jones and Demi Lovato are setting the bar to stop that. It is NOT a weakness, or laziness...people who struggle with mental illness want TERRIBLY to get up and lead normal and productive lives, they just literally don't have that drive or the balance. They WANT it, but it's not there. EVERYONE no matter who you are, where you come from, color of your skin, homo or hetero, what your illnesses, deserves to lead happy lives.
she is one troubled girl..I hope she gets her stuff worked out..she deserves to have love and success in her life
I'm a fan of Ms. Lovato, and I am highly offended by the title of the article and so many of you negative individuals. None of you know her situation so shut it. At least she isn't being praised for her bad behavior like Charlie Sheen. People are more interested in how dumb he looks and sounds rather than helping him get well.
Isabel: Some folks use inpatient treatment to stabilize so yes, it may seem that they are curable within 5 days because they are released and according to a doctor no longer need intense monitoring throughout the day. However, they still receive outpatient treatment on a constant and regular basis.
I don't think Bipolarity is the new desease... I think it's something very real and common. Isabel, you're being mean and speaking about something you don't know. You don't know if she has "simple weakness and depressions" covered with "bipolar".