With the exception of a single tweet on January 31, Heidi Klum has yet to say a word about her separation for Seal, her husband of seven years.
For the first time ever, the 38-year-old supermodel and host of Project Runway opens up to ELLE's April issue about their shocking split.
"I feel like I'm in the eye of the tornado. It's emotions inside of your body that are a tornado. And then the outside world doing all this craziness -- with you wanting it or not wanting it -- is another tornado," says Klum, who shares four children and a $14.2 million Brentwood home with her ex. "But as hard as it is, so is life. And sometimes I think a curveball just comes at you. Instead of something straight that you catch, it hits you in the head from the side that you didn't expect."
Klum acknowledges there had been problems in the marriage that they chose to keep private. "To the outside world, you don't really share all the things that happen. You kind of share just the most amazing sides," she explains. "But I don't really want to get into any of that stuff. With my life, my family, my business -- I want to go forward."
"I feel like already there are so many things being said about us -- about him, about me. I'm not going to comment. Otherwise it makes you angry. You can't always call and say, 'This is not true, but this part is true.'"
Of course, Seal, 49, spoke endlessly about their separation while promoting his eighth studio album in January. "He's a grown man. I can't tell him what to do and what not to do," Klum tells ELLE. "It's hard."
"People don't need to know who did what," the German stunner continues. "I don't want to talk positively or negatively about the ups and downs that we had. Every couple goes through things. Unfortunately, we're in the public, so the highs are out there."
Klum chooses her words carefully, hoping to avoid causing her family any further pain. "I'm a lioness. I have four cubs. I'm a mom. I want to take care of my kids and protect them," she says. "I don't want to talk about them, or him, or me."
The ex-Victoria's Secret angel adds that she's a "strong person," but she's "also a soft person" -- and the separation has really hurt her. "I'm not a robot. I'm not made out of stone."