In search of a new role model. Second eldest Duggar son, John-David Duggar, shared on the family's TLC special, Jill & Jessa: Counting On, on Sunday, December 13, that he had a heartbreaking conversation with his big brother, Josh Duggar, following his cheating scandal this past August. 

After Josh publicly admitted to being unfaithful to his wife, Anna Duggar, the father of four entered a faith-based rehab facility in Illinois. Meanwhile, his younger brother John-David, along with his 17 other siblings, were devastated by the aftermath of his cheating scandal discovered after his information on infidelity website Ashely Madison was leaked this summer. 

On the family's special, the next Duggar son, 25, shared that stepping up in the unconventionally large household was "a big load, it's a big weight upon me now."

"I've got a whole bunch of younger siblings looking up to me and I've got to be an example to them," he shared in his confessional. "Because whatever I am, that's what they want to be."

John-David shared how he used to look to Josh, 27, in the same way. "That's what it was for me and Josh," he shared. "I always wanted to be like him. But, one of the toughest things I ever had to tell my older brother was, 'I don't want to be like you anymore.'"

He wasn't the only sibling and Duggar family member who was heartbroken over Josh's second scandal of the year. On the three-part special, both Jessa and Jill Duggar got visibly emotional about their sibling's betrayal, as well as their younger sisters Jinger, Jana, and Joy, who cried throughout their interviews. Meanwhile, Josh's wife, Anna, was in tears as she recalled the harrowing ordeal of learning about her husband's betrayal.

Another one of Josh's younger brothers Joseph also intentionally began distancing himself from his brother. 

"Even after the first thing came out about him when he was younger, I never had quite as close a relationship as I did whenever I was really young," Joseph, 20, shared, "But then over time, it built back up. But then whenever this next situation came up, it blew my mind. I had no idea.” (It was revealed this past May that Josh had molested five girls, including his sisters Jessa and Jill, during his teenage years.)

Watch John-David's clip above.

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