Behind those hazel eyes, she was cringing! Kelly Clarkson revealed on The Ellen DeGeneres Show on Thursday, March 3, that she was embarrassed by how emotional she got on American Idol last week. The singer — who was crowned the show’s first winner in 2002 — cried while singing her song “Piece by Piece” during the February 25 episode of Idol’s final season.
“I came off almost in tears for a different reason because I was so embarrassed. I was like, ‘Oh, God. This is my final thing on Idol and I could not hold it together.’ I was almost losing it almost the entire song,” Clarkson, 33, told Ellen DeGeneres. “I was proud of myself for making it as far as I did.” (Judges Jennifer Lopez and Keith Urban also cried.)
Clarkson wrote “Piece by Piece” about her absent father, who left her family when she was a child. “It’s sad, but hopeful because a lot of us, we didn’t have a bar to set as far as finding love and relationships. Or friendships in any form,” the Grammy winner explained of the ballad.
“My sister and I had a conversation afterwards. I ended up writing this song about how lucky we are because we both found incredible fathers and just lovers and men and just partners,” she continued. “I feel really lucky, because I feel like a lot of girls with daddy issues don’t end up that way.”
Clarkson, who is pregnant with her second child, often praises her husband, Brandon Blackstock, for being a wonderful father. The music manager was backstage with their 20-month-old daughter, River, during his wife’s American Idol set. (Blackstock is also the father of two children from a previous marriage.)
“I didn’t realize it was going to be that bad. And we were rehearsing that day and I just couldn’t get through it. My 1-year-old is running around the same hallway as I was at 19,” she said. “[Brandon is] a great husband and a great father. And he was there, my little girl was there, my little boy was, like, turning circles in my stomach. It was nostalgic. It was the last time I was going to be on Idol and it’s ending. I was screwed from the get-go.”
Clarkson joked that her pregnancy hormones also got in the way. “Emotionally, I was on a slip-and-slide from hell.”
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