When it comes to her nine-year marriage to Sidney Hicks, Mo’Nique doesn’t believe in adhering to the traditional rules between spouses.
“I originate from this place called Africa and what I know of African kings — tell me about one of them that just had one wife,” she told True Exclusives on Monday, Nov. 16. “Do you know any of them? I don’t… So when we came [to America], we adopted other people’s ways and that’s called ownership. I don’t want to be owned anymore… We’re humans guys, that’s all.”
When the interviewer asked the Oscar-winning actress, 47, about people who give free passes to cheat in a marriage, she replied, “When you say ‘a pass to cheat,’ when you’re with your best friend and you say to your best friend, ‘I’m having these feelings about this person sexually and I want to share it with you.’ When you’re best friends, you can have those open and honest conversations.”
Mo’Nique didn’t seem to feel that monogamy is a realistic expectation, adding, “Often times people cheat because of something they’re not getting…All these people on the face of the earth, do you think my eyes won’t say ‘He’s fine!’ or ‘She’s attractive’? And if you want to go further with it, let’s be honest enough to have those conversations. What is it about that person that you find you want to sleep with them? Because they may give you something that I’m simply not willing to do. And if that’s the case, how could I be mad? Because I’m not going to do it, should I deprive you of not having it?”
The stand-up comedian did not reveal whether Hicks had slept with other people during their marriage, but she noted that the key to any strong bond is: “Honesty, that’s it. If you can’t tell the person you’re laying with every night how you truly feel, then you’re in a bad place.”
As a mother of all sons, she rejected the idea that she was raising them to become men.
“One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is to know my place,” she said. “And sometimes women get offended, saying, ‘What do you mean your place?’ Well, we all have one. Everybody wants to be the chief. Well, I’m not the chief in my household, their daddy is.”
And the actress believes her bond with Hicks is stronger than ever, and the main reason she decided to get in shape and get healthy.
“What made me want to save my life [through weight loss] is this amazing man named Sidney Hicks and my amazing children, Michael, David, Jonathan, and Shalon, because I want to live to see my children’s children,” she said. “I want to grow old with my husband. The same way I make love to my husband at 47, I want to be able to make love to him at 99. And if I didn’t start doing some different decisions then those things wouldn’t be able to happen.”
This isn’t the first time Mo’Nique has been upfront about her open marriage. During a 2007 New York Times profile, she explained, “We have an agreement that we’ll always be honest. And if sex happens with another person, that’s not a deal breaker for us, that’s not something where we’ll say, ‘Oh my God, we’ve got to go to divorce court, and you cheated on me.’ Because we don’t cheat.”
