This morning as I sat down to drink my tea (after preparing breakfast for everyone), I listened to my three beautiful girls bicker over whatever it is that kids can go on and on about and I felt the tears coming. I am just so tired. Tired of trying, tired of falling, tired of the guilt, tired of the fighting and tired of being someone's something. I just want to be me for 5 minutes, alone in my bed under the covers and not hear the moaning and complaining and the word "MOMMY" every two seconds. No one tells you this. No one tells you about the moments you will want to bash your face against the wall because your adorable toddler (who is also evil) refuses to go back into bed at 4 am because she wants to "play now". So I sat there and sipped my tea. They had left the table by now and were getting dressed, still bickering, and I just had to leave the kitchen before I burst into tears. So I'm sitting on the toilet now with the door shut feeling sorry for myself, trying not to cry. And I know it's just a phase, I know tomorrow will be better (and if not then next week certainly will be once they are back to school), but right now I'm doing this and I may even get myself a bar a chocolate later and throw myself a real pitty party. Because boy does this motherhood business suck sometimes. I mean, it's the most AMAZING thing ever and I wouldn't trade it for the world, but it fucking sucks sometimes. It fucking sucks! #motherhood #momtruth #MomLife #moms #mums #KeepingItReal #motherhood #parenting #parents #reallife #family #love #ilosemyshit
Tova Leigh loves her three daughters more than anything. But this morning, the London-based blogger needed a break from all the fighting. So she sneaked into the bathroom, locked the door and had a good cry.
“As I sat down to drink my tea (after preparing breakfast for everyone), I listened to my three beautiful girls bicker over whatever it is that kids can go on and on about and I felt the tears coming,” Leigh began in an Instagram post published on Thursday, August 31. “I am just so tired. Tired of trying . . . tired of the guilt, tired of the fighting and tired of being someone’s something.”
The 42-year-old went on to make a confession that so many parents can relate to: “I just want to be me for 5 minutes, alone in my bed under the covers and not hear the moaning and complaining and the word ‘MOMMY’ every two seconds.”
She added, “No one tells you about the moments you will want to bash your face against the wall because your adorable toddler (who is also evil) refuses to go back into bed at 4 a.m. because she wants to ‘play now.’)
After her children left the table “still bickering” Leigh retreated to the bathroom where she sat there “feeling sorry” for herself. “Boy does this motherhood business suck sometimes. I mean, it’s the most AMAZING thing ever and I wouldn’t trade it for the world,” she shared. “But it f—ing sucks sometimes. It f—ing sucks!”
A month ago I uploaded a picture of myself in granny pants on Instagram for the whole world to see. As you know, a few days earlier I read an article about how "perfect" images on social media are causing people (and especially teenagers) to feel insecure about themselves, and after posting a "perfect" selfie of myself (which was cropped and manipulated) a few days prior, I felt like I had to reveal the truth. What you don't know is that while I was standing there with my ass out, showing off my mom tum, cellulite, and zero thigh gap, the one thing that kept me going and made me press 'publish' when it was done, were my three little girls. You see, we put so much afford into teaching our children to love themselves, just the way they are. We tell them they are beautiful no matter what, that looks don't matter and that it's what's on the inside that really counts. All these amazing messages, but the truth is, we kind of don't believe in them ourselves. As I stood there, on that Sunday morning, literally cringing at the thought of this image being shared all over social media, it suddenly hit me that if they SEE IT IN ME – I won't even have to say it. Now, I won't lie to you – it has taken me YEARS to accept my body and love it just the way it is, and I am so happy to say that yesterday, I posted a picture of myself standing side by side to Queen Bey herself, and I couldn't have felt more fabulous if I fucking tried. As I chased the twins around the garden trying to get them to pose for the damn picture, while half naked with a wine glass in my hair, I felt so free and delighted that they are witnessing me in my full spectacular, happy, flabby glory! You see, beauty comes in different shapes and sizes, and while we may not all look "perfect" according to some dictated standard, we are most beautiful when we are being REAL. Tova x The #RealIsSexy collection is now available on www.tovaleigh.com ♡ #motherhood #parenting #parents #reallife #family #love #RealIsSexy #Moms #mums #BodyImage #bodyshaming #fuckbodygoals #Women #MomLife #summer #kids #bouncingback #selfie #socialmedia
The comments poured in. “I have days like this and I always wonder if I’m alone in feeling this way,” wrote one commenter. Added another: ”Big hugs ?. I know what you mean, you can’t pee in peace ??, you can’t shower ? in peace, you can’t even sleep in peace most times ?.”
Leigh, who is mom of a 6-year-old and 4-year-old twins, tells Us Weekly her husband came to the rescue. “I told him how I felt and he took the girls out so I could go back to sleep,” she says. “These moments happen to us mothers when we feel like we just can’t go on. And then we have those amazing moments that make it all worthwhile. That’s motherhood, isn’t it?”
Tova Leigh is on Facebook.
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