Everybody needs a mommy friend like Olivia White. The Australian blogger, who keeps it real on her Instagram (think crying kid pics), recently penned a post titled “20 Crappy Mum Confessions,” and it’s resonating with parents everywhere.
“We are all trying to do our best, and be the best mothers we can be. But sometimes, it’s just about getting to the end of the day alive — right?!” the 27-year-old wrote on her blog, House of White. “Here are some of my not-so-perfect mum confessions … I’m sure you can secretly relate to a few! (Or I’m just a really crappy mum.)”
1. I didn’t take my daughter to her swimming lesson because it was cold and I didn’t want to get in the pool myself.
2. I smelt poo, but I waited till my husband noticed it so I didn’t have to change it.
3. Sometimes I fantasize about getting in my car and running away, or at least going to get McNuggets.
4. I feed the baby packet puree because I didn’t have time/couldn’t be bothered making it.
5. I gave my toddler Phenergan on the plane so she would sleep the whole flight. (It was awesome.)
6. I leave the house with spew on my shoulders because I figure it’s just going to get spewed on again anyway.
7. I dropped my toddler off at day care without breakfast because I was late for work and I knew they would feed her.
8. I accidentally clipped my babies finger when cutting her nails and made it bleed (I was pretty upset about this one).
9. I told my daughter her annoying phone toy was broken when really I just removed the batteries.
10. I force the kids to take a nap at midday so I can watch Ellen in peace.
11. I fed my kids baked beans for dinner because there was nothing ‘easy’ in the house to cook.
12. I skip pages in the book when reading to my kids at bedtime.
13. I use my kids to get out of social engagements all the time. “Sorry, babe, the baby’s really sick so we're gonna stay home.”
14. I claim my forgetfulness is because I had a s–t night sleep, but really my kids slept through, I just suck at remembering things.
15. I put the baby down crying, then walked out the room and shut the door to save my sanity.
16. I let my toddler eat from the bag of grapes while we’re shopping just to keep her quiet.
17. I claimed the kids were high maintenance and crying all day just so I didn’t have to cook dinner.
18. I ask my MIL to ‘watch the kids for an hour’ but then come back in three.
19. When I pull up in the driveway, I sit in the car for ages with the kids strapped in just so I can reply to texts/make phone calls/Snapchat/check Instagram.
20. I have a ‘wine allowance’ in our weekly shopping budget.
“The response has been mostly positive,” the mom to daughters Annabelle, 2, and Teddy, 4 months, tells Us Weekly. “But of course there are always the haters and keyboard warriors condemning my confessions, painting me as a bad mother and irresponsible.”
White continues: “A lot of people have joined in and confessed some hilarious things, like eating their kids’ bag of lollipops and turning up the radio in the car to drown out cries. I’m guilty of those too!”
Her husband, Jeremy, who is a director in the health care industry, also got in on the action, sharing his crappy dad confessions with Us:
1. I sit on the toilet just to watch YouTube videos alone.
2. My go-to present is Lego, just because I want to play with it.
3. I let my daughter watch Despicable Me almost every day just because it’s my favorite movie, I don’t even know why she likes it.
4. When my wife asks, “who farted?” I point to the baby.
5. I dress my daughters in mismatched daggy [not stylish] clothes and gumboots [rain boots] just to annoy my wife.
White is on Facebook and Instagram.
