A heavy night of drinking comes with serious consequences when you’re the parent of young kids — just ask Australian blogger Constance Hall.
“Go out they said . . . you only live once they said . . .” the mother of four began in a now-viral Facebook post published Saturday, September 2. “Have they ever survived a hangover surrounded by deadly kids?”
Hall’s day began at 7 a.m. when she was awoken by her hungry children. “I paid the oldest $10 to make the youngest breakfast,” she shared. “I convinced them that they needed ice cream (I needed ice cream).” Her kids ate their cones in the park while Hall waited in the car and popped Ibuprofen. “I’ve been a mum for 8 years, I’ve come to peace with the fact that I hate parks,” she explained.
Next she lured them home “with the promise of a really exciting surprise,” which turned out to be a nap. “They hated me anyway,” she revealed. “It was no skin off my nose that they hated me more.”
At one point, three out of the four were crying at once. “I closed my eyes for 3 seconds and Remi tipped a whole glass of water on my head,” Hall shared. “I ate. What they didn’t eat, I ate. What they were planning to eat, I ate. I caught a glimpse of myself in my undies fingering the leftover cheer out of their Le snack and sucking it off with more enthusiasm then I’ve ever shown a lover. It was a low point.”
Before bed, Hall’s daughter, Billie-Violet, made a good observation. “Billie-Violet told me I was boring today, I said, ‘That my girl is why you shouldn’t drink alcohol, it makes you really fun and then really boring,’” Hall wrote. “And just because god hates me and wants to punish me for the sins of my youth, they have all come down with croup.”
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