Emma Lou Harris, a mom blogger from Ireland, was in the mood. “I’d had two full beers . . . and Joe had emptied the dishwasher without having to be asked,” she began in a now viral Facebook post published on July 19. “I knew right then and there it was game on. Pants. Off!”
Harris wrote that she and her husband put their kids Frankie and Jax to bed and “hopped on straight down to sexy town.”
And it was good. “We were just getting to the bit of the act about half way through where you actually consider going professional and you wonder why you ain’t teaching these kinda moves on some sort of intense weekend course for beginners,” she revealed. “It was getting hotter than Satan’s ball sack and I was trying to hold in the noises.”
She continued: “There was nails digging and hair pulling and headboards knocking and we were JUST about to be reminded whyyyyy the HELL I ever put up with this bollox leaving his crap all over the house when suddenly, ‘Mammmmmmmmy??????????’”
In the post, Harris described her panic. “My vagina zips itself up to my back immediately before I’ve even had to to turn my head,” she wrote. And Joe was equally mortified. “In that same split second I heard a small girl scream. It’s Joe, it was the noise accompanied by him leaping off me higher than a kangaroo hurdler while very nearly giving himself a home circumcision from the ceiling fan in the process.”
When she finally looked up, Harris saw her 3-year-old daughter, Frankie, standing beside the bed in her My Little Pony nightgown.
It turns out, Frankie lost her pacifier and needed someone to help her find it. “I oblige. She wanders into her room and says nothing. Puts her soother in and goes back to sleep,” wrote Harris. “I don’t know what she saw that night. I can’t say for definite if she saw too much or if she saw anything at all. Myself and Joe are due to finish our Trauma Counseling sometimes in the year 2045.”
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