South Carolina mother of three Ashford Evans has seen just about everything: Her middle child ate handfuls of cat poop out of a litter box, and her kids are notorious for sneaking animals into the house.
“Once it was a turtle that had clearly been hit by a lawnmower and died a few weeks prior,” the 36-year-old tells Us Weekly. “It was crawling with maggots.”
Yet nothing prepared Evans for what was waiting for her when she returned home after a business trip last May.
“When I entered the bathroom I was greeted by a sweet citrus smell. The entire bathroom seemed to have been scrubbed just before my arrival … And that’s when it saw it,” the Biscuits and Crazy blogger wrote in a September post that was recently unearthed by Babble.com. “One of the children’s cereal bowls sitting on the shelf with what seemed to be an older bar of soap sitting in it.”
Though the pharmaceutical sales rep couldn’t place where she had purchased the cleanser, it didn’t stop her from holding it to her nose and breathing in the scent. “I never bothered to wash my hands after fondling it because it was, after all, just soap,” she wrote.
Only it wasn’t soap.
Evans — who refers to her kids as Eeny, 7, Meeny, 5, and Miny, 2, on her blog — recounted what happened the next morning.
Eeny emerged from the guest bathroom pressing the bar to her lips and breathing in deeply saying “This is my favorite. I love the way this smells.”
“I know!” I wholeheartedly agreed. “What IS that? Where did you guys get that?” I asked.
“Meeny found it in the boys bathroom at Tae Kwon Do and brought it home,” she happily replied.
And that’s when it hit me. It wasn’t some upscale boutique $15 soap I had been caressing for the last 12 hours. It was a urinal cake. That’s right, catch your breath. A f—ing urinal cake. A URINAL CAKE!!! A urinal cake from the public gym I take my 5 year old for Tae Kwon Do three times a week. A urinal cake that has been peed on by at least 1000 strange little boys that I just held against my cheek!!!”
Evans tells Us that after the initial shock wore off, she quickly wrote a Facebook post recalling what happened — then she called her husband, David. “When he answered the phone he was making gagging sounds,” she says. “I asked him what was wrong and he said, ‘I just saw your Facebook post. I had no idea what that thing was. I thought it was a piece of dried fruit. I almost tasted it. What if I had tasted it!?’”
Later that night the couple sat Eeny, Meeny and Miny down for an important chat. “We had a talk with the children about not bringing things home from public restrooms,” she tells Us. “Honestly, every day of my life is like this!”
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