Big Gay Musical Creator Fred Caruso Dead in Apparent Suicide

Fred Caruso
Fred Caruso in 2009. 

Fred M. Caruso, the producer of the Off-Broadway hit Newsical, died in an apparent suicide on Monday, June 13, after posting a chilling goodbye letter on Facebook. 

Caruso — who passed away at the age of 41 — scheduled the note to go live on the Facebook page for the 2009 movie The Big Gay Musical, which he co-wrote and co-directed.

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The lengthy post detailed Caruso’s troubled state of mind. “For most of my life I have been absolutely miserable — except for when I was creating. I have nothing left in me to create,” he wrote. “I don’t think I have any idea what love or happiness is. I have been incredibly lonely and at the same time — I hate being around people.”

Caruso, who lived in Las Vegas, went on to reveal that he first tried to take his life earlier in the week by taking 30 Ambien. 

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“I have achieved more in my life than I ever should have been able to. I grew up on government cheese, food stamps, and public housing,” he wrote. “I have produced great theatre, movies (two of which I wrote and directed) and I traveled all over the world. I regret nothing especially the choice that I am making now.”

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He concluded, “I have spent the last few days driving all over trying to find a different solution — I couldn’t.” 

Caruso’s friend Rick Crom confirmed news on Tuesday and described the talent as “tortured soul.”

In lieu of a memorial, Caruso asked friend and family to donate to the Trevor Project, which provides suicide prevention services to LGBTQ+ youth.

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