Bill Maher Reimagines Donald Trump’s Answers to Us Weekly’s ’25 Things You Don’t Know About Me’

Bill Maher hilariously reimagined Donald Trump’s answers to Us Weekly’s "25 Things You Don’t Know About Me" feature on his talk show, Real Time With Bill Maher, on Friday, July 15.

The TV personality, 60, listed the presumptive Republican presidential nominee’s fictional responses, most of which were NSFW, in the interest of “equal time,” three months after presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton shared 25 fun facts about herself with Us.

Bill Maher Us Weekly 25 Things Donald Trump

Back in May 2010, Trump, then the host of The Celebrity Apprentice, revealed 25 things about himself to Us. Maher’s updated version, however, is much raunchier.

After displaying a faux Us Weekly issue with the businessman on the cover — which featured the snarky caption: “He’s the small-handed son of an orangutan running for the highest office in the land. Donald Trump reveals fun facts to Us,” — Maher joined in on the infamous joke surrounding Trump’s supposedly small appendages.

“When I masturbate, my tiny hands make my penis look bigger,” the late-night HBO host quipped on Friday night, before adding, “I don’t drink alcohol. I cause others to drink alcohol.”

Donald Trump
Donald Trump on Sept. 14, 2015, in Dallas. Tom Pennington/Getty Images

Maher then poked fun at Trump’s wife, saying, “I saved the box Melania arrived in so I can return her when she turns 50.”

In another critical one-liner, the comedian gave his take on Trump’s false belief that President Barack Obama wasn’t born in the United States. “I never actually believed Obama was born in Kenya. Because I thought the name of the country was Kanye,” Maher jested.

Watch the NSFW segment above for more of Maher’s wisecracks — including “I cry at movies. Because they’re integrated,” and “I can peel a banana with my feet,” — above!

Real Time With Bill Maher airs on HBO Fridays at 10 p.m. ET.

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