British Dad Live-Tweets School Trip With Fifth Graders and It Will Make You Cry With Laughter

Male Teacher and Primary School Students in a Museum Looking at Animal Models in a Vitrine
Field Trip Getty Images

A dad from England live-tweeted his experience chaperoning a school field trip and it’s comedy gold.

Simon Smith, who goes by the handle @simomfromharlow, helped shepherd his 10-year-old daughter and 60 of her classmates to the science museum on Sunday, May 21. The problems began as soon as Smith boarded the bus.

“Ah. Coach seats all have seat belts now. This is causing an unprecedented amount of f—kery,” wrote Smith. One mile in, Smith noted that “approximately 30 percent of the people on this coach need the toilet,” even though they were asked to use the bathroom before leaving. 

Moments later, Smith was ready to crack open a window: “Farts. Farts are occurring.” And making matters worse, his little girl was mortified by his presence. “My own daughter made eye contact,” he revealed. “It was sinister.” 

During the journey, there was plenty of lively banter that Smith was sure to share with his followers. “Are we nearly there yet? Does the Queen live here (Every big building),” wrote Smith. “Why isn’t everyone rich?” 

When they finally arrived at the museum, Smith revealed that he “just walked three flights of stairs with 60 ten years olds and it was like being back in The Army.”

There was an eventful trip to the gift shop. “Seven ten year olds in a gift ship is like a really s—t hybrid version of The Crystal Maze and f—king Die Hard,” he wrote. “In an added layer of f—kery they all buying slime and putty because of course they are.”

At 4 p.m., Smith was finally back on the bus — and completely over it all. “Teachers and teaching assistants,” he tweeted. “You have my utmost respect.”

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