Miranda Kerr is shining a light on how she was able to heal after her first love Christopher Middlebrook’s death.
“We were all very close knit. Like, my boyfriend’s family and all of my family,” Kerr, 43, recalled in Us’ exclusive preview of the Tuesday, November 3, episode of the “Not Skinny But Not Fat” podcast hosted by Amanda Hirsch. “When [my uncle] told me the news, I just remember my whole world just stopped, and I remember seeing the guy outside mowing the lawn, and I’m thinking, ‘This is so weird. My world has stopped, but other people’s worlds are still going.’”
Kerr and Middlebrook were high school sweethearts and had been dating for two years before things changed forever.
When sitting down with Hirsch, 38, the KORA Organics founder reminded listeners that her then-boyfriend died in a car accident when he was a teenager.
“There was a plow on the side of the road, and it was a full moon, and he had gotten his car taken off the road, like, the week before, because something with the headlight, so he didn’t have his headlights on,” Kerr explained. “By the time he saw the plow, it killed him instantly. So that was it.”
To this day, Kerr — who shares Flynn, 15, with ex-husband Orlando Bloom and Hart, 8, Myles, 7, and Pierre, 2, with husband Evan Spiegel — remembers going to her grandma’s house shortly after learning of Middlebrook’s death and processing what had just happened.

“I was writing a letter to him to put in with him when he was buried, and in part of that letter, I had said, ‘My firstborn son will carry your name,’ which is why Flynn is Flynn Christopher,” Kerr said. “Intuitively, I feel like Chris is, like, really watching over my son, Flynn and really protecting him. Flynn actually wears a pendant, St. Christopher, as well.”
Kerr still speaks to Middlebrook’s parents at least once a month. The open communication has helped her grieve and move forward with her life.
“We grew up together. He was my first love, and throughout, I think it’s been very healing for both his family and I to remain close,” she said. “I’ll always send his mom a little emoji of a sunflower because that was the flower that is very representative of him. He would come to my house with this huge sunflower, and it’s, like, the size of my head, the actual flower, and he pulled it out on the farm, roots and all.”
To hear more about Kerr’s life, listen to the full episode of the “Not Skinny But Not Fat” podcast releasing Tuesday, November 3.








