Winona Ryder: ‘I’d Rather Never Have Been Married Than Been Divorced a Few Times’

Winona Rider
Winona Rider attends the Marc Jacobs Beauty Velvet Noir Mascara Launch Dinner on January 18, 2016, in NYC. Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images

Her happily ever after doesn’t require a wedding. Winona Ryder explains why she’s never been married despite a slew of high-profile relationships throughout her three-decade career in Hollywood. 

"I’m a serial monogamist,” the Girl, Interrupted actress, 44, told Net-a-Porter’s The Edit. “I was single for a while and dating and … I just didn’t know how to do it! I’ve always been like that: When I was 15, there was a guy I liked, and we made out, and I thought that meant he was my boyfriend. My mom had to explain it to me.”

Although she was previously engaged to Johnny Depp in 1990, they broke it off in 1993 (and he famously altered his “Winona Forever” tattoo to read “Wino Forever”). She hasn’t had a ring on her finger since.

“But marriage? I don’t know,” she pondered. “I’d rather never have been married than been divorced a few times. Not that there’s anything wrong with divorce, but I don’t think I could do it if that was a possibility. When your parents are madly in love for 45 years, your standards are really high. But I’ve been happily with someone for quite a while now.” The Oscar-nominated actress has been in a relationship with fashion designer Scott Mackinlay Hahn since around 2011. 

The ultra-private actress explained that slowing down in the 2000s after dozens of award-winning films in the ’90s was a personal choice. “I was working a lot [in the ’90s] and I needed to slow down,” she said. “It’s so important to have a life outside the industry, to not look to it to validate you as a human being.”

While the Black Swan star says she had a “tough time at school” growing up because she was “shy and different looking,” she has fully embraced her looks — and even her wrinkles — as she aged. “I love getting older. I think it has to do with always being the kid on set. It’s interesting because, these days, [cosmetic surgery] is treated almost like hygiene. I’ve had people say to me, ‘Oh, you should, you know … ’ and they point to my forehead. ‘Get that seen to!’ But I’m like, ‘No! I’ve been waiting so long for that to happen!’”

Ryder is returning to the small screen with her new show, Stranger Things, which premieres on Netflix July 15, but don’t expect to see the actress on Instagram or Twitter anytime soon. “I’m not on [social media.] I’m very private so I can’t imagine what I’d want to share with the world. I can’t even take selfies,” she said. “I think [social media] is a bit dangerous, in terms of self-obsession. It’s so important to look outward.”

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