Juelia kicked off Bachelor in Paradise on Aug. 31 with a bang — because she stepped on a jellyfish. Fortunately, Tenley was nearby to help out the single mom by peeing on her foot to ease the sting. (If that’s not a good friend, we don’t know what is.)
Meanwhile, despite Carly‘s attempts to hook Chelsie up with Dan (in the hopes of endangering Samantha‘s chances to stick around another week), Chelsie ended up taking Nick on her date. No one seemed happy about this decision, except Chelsie and Nick.
To his credit, Nick did try to smooth things over with Ashley S., who didn’t take the news that the guy she’d stayed up witch until 6 a.m. the night before (according to her) was looking for love elsewhere. In her defense, though, Nick did start off the conversation by telling her that she smelled “like a brewery.” Ouch.
Mckenzie Arrives — and Gets Married?!
Mckenzie (from Chris Soules’ season) arrived and immediately got the lowdown on the couples from bestie Ashley I., who, for the record, might not be the most accurate reporter on this subject, considering she claimed that she and Jared were together.
Once Ashley I. had made it clear that Mckenzie better stay away from Jared, she suggested her pal go for Justin — a suggestion Tanner seconded. As it turned out, their instincts seemed to be right on the money.
Mckenzie and Justin quickly bonded about their children and soon after headed out hand in hand for a romantic evening date. (Amber was none too pleased with that.)
They then embarked on one of the strangest dates in Paradise so far, getting nearly naked for some sort of spiritual ceremony conducted in Spanish, which neither of them understood. After stripping to their skivvies, Justin and Mckenzie painted each other with mud, and then washed that mud off.
“I’m not mad touching Mckenzie,” Justin mused to the camera. “Not mad at all.”
For her part, Mckenzie praised Justin’s body as “awesome.”
Then the leader of the ceremony — who may or may not have been a priest — said something about them now being married. Mckenzie embraced it, but Justin was sort of freaking out.
“Something tells me she actually thinks we got married,” Justin said to the camera with a look of fear in his eyes.
Chelsie and Nick Yacht It Up
Cheslie and Nick headed out to the open ocean for a luxurious one-on-one. They enjoyed a day of fun in the sun atop a giant yacht, which they casually drove by the Paradise beach to show off to their friends. Though they had a nice enough time, it was pretty clear there were no fireworks — as indicated by the fact that he spent most of the time talking about Samantha.
“Chelsie and I had an amazing time on the date, but for me to say that we had a romantic connection and spark would probably be lying,” he confessed to the camera later, before noting that he was still hoping to make a play for the bad-girl brunette.
Though Nick and Chelsie each have yet to make a love connection, it’s worth mentioning that the power couples Kirk and Carly, Tanner and Jade, Joshua and Tenley, and Mikey and Juelia were all still going strong.
Paradise got a new member when Jacqueline arrived — though her reputation preceded her.
“Her reputation is for being a bit of a tough bitch,” Ashley I. explained to the camera. Oh, Ashley, how right you are.
Jacqueline quickly made it clear that she didn’t care about hurting anyone’s feelings or jeopardizing current relationships, and promptly moved in on Jared.
“I assume these people are completely sick of whatever girl they’re dating and whatever drama they’ve been dealing with,” Jacqueline reasoned to the camera.
“She doesn’t care who’s with who,” Juelia observed. “She’s just here to do whatever she wants.”
Seeing Jared and Jacqueline chatting up a storm, Ashley I. knew it was time to kick her efforts to win his heart into high gear. “I’m not going to let her take Jared away from me!” she vowed. “I’m winning him over. Tonight is literally do or die.”
She then asked Chris Harrison to help her out by giving her a date card that included an overnight stay in a fantasy suite. Because the host has a giving spirit (or just knows what makes good ratings), he obliged.
“I want an overnight date with Jared because there is just no more time,” Ashley I. explained.
Ashley I. Gives Jared Her Date Card
Just as Jacqueline was asking Jared out, Ashley I. reappeared, date card in hand, and asked Jared to accompany the self-proclaimed virginal Kardashian wannabe on an overnight. To everyone’s surprise, he said yes.
“I am so happy. I’m really nervous, but I’m also excited!” she cooed to the camera. “This is one of the biggest nights of my life!” She went on to explain, “I am physically attracted to Jared enough that I am fine with the thought of doing anything.”
Jacqueline seemed less than impressed. “No guy this age wants to take somebody’s virginity still,” she quipped to the camera.
But Jacqueline might be wrong about that, if Ashley I. has it her way. “I don’t know what’s going to happen tonight, but I may not be a virgin tomorrow!” she said with a smile.
Tell Us: Do you think Ashley I. is going to lose her virginity to Jared?
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