Meltdown in progress! Week three of The Bachelorette kicked off with Kupah’s meltdown over being dismissed still going strong. “I go home in three days. Now I’m the black dude that is a sucker,” he shouted to the cameraman, prompting a mortified Kaitlyn Bristowe to come outside to ask him to calm down. Though Kupah made a final play to keep his spot in the house, Kaitlyn was unmoved.
“This is not right,” she began. “Don’t get in other people’s faces. Just accept this because now you’re creating this uncomfortable situation and nothing is going to change right now — nothing.” Finally, after a little more kicking and screaming, Kupah got the message and left. Kaitlyn then returned to her other suitors to hand out roses.
During the ceremony, Jared got the first rose, followed by Ben H., Shawn, Jonathan, Tanner, Chris, Ryan, Justin, Ian, Joshua, Joe, Corey, and Tony. (Don’t forget Ben Z., Clint, and JJ had already nabbed roses, securing their spots early on.) For her part, Kaitlyn seemed somewhat torn over a few of her choices, and specifically lamented sending Daniel and Cory (without an “e”) home. “How is it already this hard?” she asked through tears.
First Group Date: “Thong Man Diapers”
Kaitlyn’s tears quickly dried when she set out for a sumo wrestling group date with Clint, Chris, Tony, JJ, Joe, and Shawn. That’s right — the guys had to sumo wrestle, wearing the traditional sumo attire, which Kaitlyn accurately described as “thong man diapers.” They needn’t worry, however, because for some inexplicable reason, Kaitlyn confessed she found them “sexy.” It’s safe to say she’s probably the only person in history to ever feel this way.
Tony Just Wants to Go to the F—ing Zoo
Though the matches were, theoretically, all in good fun, Tony didn’t appreciate the violent nature of the event. “I would much rather do something peaceful and loving,” he told Kaitlyn after the fact. “I view the world through the eyes of a child. I have the heart of a warrior and the spirit of a gypsy.” Kaitlyn insisted he didn’t have to do anything he didn’t want to and so it was no surprise that he opted out of the second half of the date, which involved more sumo wrestling. So while Kaitlyn bonded with the other guys, Tony sat back at the house stewing. “Why can’t we go to the zoo?” the zen-master asked. “Seriously, can we go to the f—ing zoo?”
He can go to the zoo if he wants now — because he left the show. “I just can’t participate in this circus anymore,” he told Kaitlyn, who didn’t seem too upset to see him go. After he left, she spent some quality time making out with Shawn and gave him a rose.
Clint Seems a Little Confused
Meanwhile, former frontrunner Clint backslid a bit. Opting to see if Kaitlyn would make the effort to come to him if he didn’t jockey for position, Clint only succeeded in one thing: upsetting Kaitlyn. “Clint, I don’t know what happened to you today,” she told him in front of a group of the guys. “I took you on the first one-on-one date and you ignored me all day and didn’t even talk to me tonight, so that’s a problem.”
Clint later responded to the camera — by confessing his feelings for JJ. “JJ has got a lot of levels,” he mused. “He’s a sweetheart. He’s a good dude.” While other guys in the house seemed less than delighted with JJ and Clint’s bromance, it turned out things between them were just getting started.
One-on-One With Ben Z. in “The Basement”
Kaitlyn seemed beyond delighted to get a one-on-one with Ben Z. — until she found out what they were doing. The pair ended up at some “interactive experience” called “The Basement” which, from what we could tell, mimics being in a horror movie and having to escape from (you guessed it!) a scary basement. The set was packed with creepy crawlies ranging from scorpions to snakes to pigeons, which we learned are one of Kaitlyn’s phobias.
Once they “escaped,” they enjoyed some quality time back at Kaitlyn’s place. Kaitlyn ordered them some pizza and Ben Z. admitted he hasn’t cried in 11 years. Then they got in the hot tub and made out a lot. “Ben would be a great husband,” Kaitlyn gushed, noting that she hopes being on the show will help him get more in touch with his emotions (i.e. she wants to see him cry).
Second Group Date: Sex Ed Class
Just when you thought nothing could be more awkward than a sumo wrestling group date, the powers that be sent the second group date to teach a grade school sex-ed class. (Full disclosure: The kids were actually child actors, but the guys didn’t know that.) Kaitlyn laughed as she watched Jonathan, Ben H., Joshua, Ryan, Jared, and Tanner sweat it out in front of a group of uniquely inquisitive kids. There were questions about wet dreams and the female anatomy, and, at one point, Josh described a tampon as “a little torpedo.”
Though all of the guys did well according to Kaitlyn, Ben H. really stood out. He declared, “She’s my girlfriend” to the camera. They made out under the stars on the roof of a building. Then she gave him a rose, guaranteeing that he’ll be sticking around a bit longer.
Clint Declares His Love for JJ
Meanwhile, back at the house, things heated up between Clint and JJ. “We’ve grown very close — almost too close, I think, at times, in the room and stuff like that, in the shower,” Clint confessed. “The possibility of coming onto The Bachelorette and falling in love with a man never crossed my mind, but I believe in the process and at this point I am a success story.” (Umm, he might be a little confused about what the process is supposed to be.) “I love JJ,” he later added. “He has made my time in the house insanely enjoyable.”
Still, Clint realized he needed a rose to be able to stick around and hang out with JJ, so even though he admitted he was “not really into Kaitlyn,” he laid it on thick during some alone time with the Bachelorette. He did his damnedest to appear genuine when he apologized to Kaitlyn and then kissed her, and it seemed like it worked — until Joshua told Kaitlyn (vaguely) that Clint was being two-faced. Kaitlyn told him he wasn’t the only one who had expressed these concerns and she set out to give Clint a piece of her mind.
“Clint is one of the biggest douches in Bachelor history,” she fumed as she led him to have a quick chat. “Clint has no idea what’s in store for him. He is going down in flames.” Sadly, the episode ended before we got to see that fire get lit, ensuring we’ll all be watching next week.
Tell Us: What do you think Kaitlyn is going to say to Clint?