‘Don’t Be Tardy’ Recap: Kim Zolciak and Husband Kroy Biermann Face ‘Reality’ About His NFL Career

Kim Zolciak came, saw and conquered Montana … even without a Starbucks. Don't Be Tardy's Wednesday, October 12, episode gave Us everything we could ever have asked for — including a scene dedicated to a horse peeing. Classic Montana!

Brielle Never Wants Kids

The show kicked off with a hilarious shot of Brielle attempting to babysit her siblings while on vacation (a.k.a. Snapchatting while the children ran amok). When family chef Tracey Bloom called out the 19-year-old, Brielle responded with, “I wish someone videotaped everything I did back in the day!” The brilliant Don’t Be Tardy postproduction team then threw together a slideshow of Brielle growing up on camera. Oh, yeah … and the scene ended with Brielle saying, “This is why I’m never having kids.” We don’t blame you, Brielle!

Kroy Did a "Date Rape" Report in High School

Then the Biermanns made their way to Kroy Biermann’s alma mater Hardin High School. You would think Kroy would be most remembered at his old high school for his football accomplishments — but that’s not necessarily the case. One of the NFL free agent's former teachers approached him about a project from back in the day, saying, “Remember the date-rape thing that you did?” Not exactly the sentence you want to hear from your teacher. At least Kroy is known for his academic achievements as well as his athletic ones?

Brielle and Ariana’s “Chores” Involve Getting Kim Starbucks

The vacation took a wild turn when the gang headed to a cattle ranch where Kroy used to work in his younger years. While the Montana-bred football player may have fed hay to cows as his high-school chore, Ariana and Brielle have it a little easier. Brielle admitted, “Our chores are: Go to Starbucks, get coffee for my mom.” Kim shuddered at the sight of Kroy’s high school job, calling it "hard labor."

Kroy Biermann, Kim Zolciak-Biermann, and Brielle Biermann on Don't Be Tardy.
Kroy Biermann, Kim Zolciak-Biermann and Brielle Biermann (from left) on 'Don't Be Tardy.' Mark Hill/Bravo

Brielle Says She Wants to “Cut Up That Bitch and Eat Her”

In addition to a horse peeing on camera, we got to see just how Brielle reacts when confronted with livestock. She Snapchatted herself with various cows, using the caption “Dinner.” She even drew hearts around it! Brielle later mused, "I wanna cut that bitch up and eat her." Shh! No one tell PETA!

Multiple NFL Teams Are Interested in Kroy

The episode concluded with a call from Kroy’s sports agent, Buddy Baker. He updated Kroy on his free-agent status in the NFL, saying, “A bunch of teams have expressed interest. … You’re still in the prime of your career.” Kim responded, “I’m ready to go wherever.” Montana: If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere! We’re pretty sure Frank Sinatra originally wrote that song about Montana, right?

"Come back to reality when you have a chance, and I'll keep you guys updated on everything going on," Buddy concluded.

So, did Kim Zolciak love Montana? Not so much. The wig-loving star complained that “not everyone knows my name.” We agree, Kim. If people don’t know who Kim Zolciak is — that's no place for Us!

Tell Us: Will Kroy end up on another NFL team? Which state would you like to see Kim and her brood move to?

Don't Be Tardy airs on Bravo Wednesdays at 10 p.m. ET. 

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