TMI! Kim Kardashian has never been shy when it comes to opening up about her private life — Keeping Up With the Kardashians is in its tenth season, after all — but the newlywed shared extra intimate details about her robust sex life with husband Kanye West in the KUWTK season 10 premiere on Sunday night.
The reality star spent the hour obsessing about her ovulation schedule as she and West tried to conceive a sibling for daughter North, and frequently reached overshare territory with her musings.
The following is a chronological compilation of every lurid detail Kardashian shared about the aforementioned schedule, West’s sperm, bathroom quickies, and everything else you really didn’t need to know about the couple’s sex life.
1. When sister Kendall Jenner asks why she is lying in bed instead of sitting with everyone else in the room: “The doctor said when I have sex I have to lay down for, like, 10 to 20 minutes, so, I just had sex before you guys got here. He said it takes 10 minutes for a sperm to swim up there. I’m going to wait like 5 more minutes just for this to marinate inside of me.”
2. Consulting with her makeup artist after a bathroom quickie with West during a photo shoot: “I’m trying to stall for a few. We’ll tell them we’re just putting body makeup on.”
3. When sister Khloe Kardashian asks about the bathroom quickie: “I was like, I’m ovulating today! Ao I made him come to my photo shoot.”
4. Explaining why she and West are having so much sex: “There’s only a 20 percent chance of getting pregnant every month, I know that I’m ovulating right now, so you gotta get it in when you can get it in!”
5. Lamenting not getting pregnant: “Maybe I’m trying too hard.”
6. At the fertility doctor: “I am so on a mission to get pregnant. I remember growing up being so close with my sisters, so I want siblings for North. Because it’s been so tough I’m seeing a fertility doctor to see, like, exactly when I’m ovulating and really increase my odds of getting pregnant naturally.”
7. To the fertility doctor: “If we have, like, a lot of sex and one of the sperm gets to that, don’t they say it could be a girl unless you do it right when you’re ovulating?”
8. Also to the fertility doctor, and not actually about sex with West but too good to not include: “I had a psychic and a hairdresser that is psychic tell me that it’s going to be a boy.”
9. About her obsession: “I am about to ovulate so I buy every kind of ovulation stick imaginable just to see exactly when I’m going to be ovulating and hope to really increase my odds.”
10. On her determination: “It’s so frustrating. Kourtney just sneezes and gets pregnant. Like, not everyone is like that. It’s going to take work, and I have to work hard at it.”
11. Catching up with Khloe: “I’ve been having sex 500 times a day.”
12. At a Malibu lunch with Bruce Jenner and her sisters: “I just got my period today so I’m not pregnant this month and I’m really upset because I really tried really hard.”
13: Lamenting not getting pregnant (again): “It’s, like, so frustrating. I’m exhausted and I think I’m just making this all about the wrong things. Like, I’m forcing it, so we just need relax. We just need to not stress it, not plan so much, and just go with the flow.”
Keeping Up With the Kardashians airs Sundays at 9 p.m. ET on E!.
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