Pass the Courvoisier … or tequila … or champagne! On the Wednesday, March 23, episode of Kocktails With Khloé, the youngest of the Kardashian sisters served guests a variety of drinks (though the official libation of the night was El Sol) and chatted about a variety of topics (though plastic surgery was a recurring theme). Her guests included Terry and Heather Dubrow, actress Missi Pyle and burlesque star Dita Von Teese.
Plastic Surgery and Vagina Tightening
When asked if he can always spot when someone has had plastic surgery, Terry said, “I notice if it’s bad or it’s overdone.” This got Khloé really excited — because she’d had her own experience with a cosmetic procedure gone wrong.
Recounting a time she got fillers (well, she thought it was maybe Botox, but Botched star Terry assured her, based on how she was describing it, it was fillers), Khloé said, “I looked crazy, and I still think the effects are in there! I went to have it dissolved, like, three times.” She went on to add that she’d done it right before Lamar Odom‘s accident happened, and her doctor reasoned that the results weren’t as they’d hoped because she was experiencing too many “real emotions.” Umm. OK, then. “My face was so f–ked,” Khloé said.
But don’t think that turned her off for good from the idea of a little nip and tuck! After Terry revealed that a whopping 58 percent of people who have a breast augmentation have to have the surgery redone or corrected within five years, Khloé chimed in, “I think about it every day. I want big, big boobs!” Hey, it’s good to have dreams.
As for themselves, the Real Housewives of Orange County couple had no trouble offering up the most extreme thing they’ve ever done to look better: vaginal steaming. (It seemed that Terry did some sort of male equivalent, but it wasn’t specified.) Heather wanted to try it when she found out Gwyneth Paltrow was a fan, and overall, she gave it great reviews.
Also discussed was the ever-important topic of vagina lasering to tighten things up. Terry insisted that it works. “It basically revirginizes you,” he explained before moving on to call it a “face-lift of the vagina.” So it’s a face-lift that makes you a virgin again — and there’s really nothing else to say about that.
Dita Von Teese Explained Her Marriage to Marilyn Manson
Much like Khloé, Dita Von Teese clearly has nothing but love for her ex. “He was superencouraging,” she said of rock star ex-husband Marilyn Manson. “He encouraged all of my eccentricities, and he made an album that was kind of burlesque-themed, and we made music videos together. I can speak fondly about him now.” Still, she admitted things weren’t always so amicable between them. “If you would have asked me about it four years ago, I would have shut it down, but we’re friends now.” Miraculously, Khloé did not make any references to Lamar in response.
The burlesque star went on to explain that she and the “Beautiful People” rocker were together for a total of seven years but married for only one. “I feel like getting married was sort of like the kiss of death for us because it was sort of like the nail in the coffin. I felt obliged to go through with the ceremony in a way because so much was riding on it, like, Vogue was photographing it, and it was in this castle,” she revealed. “I just thought, Oh well.” (Side note: If, on your wedding day, you’re thinking, Oh, well, maybe reevaluate what you’re about to do really quickly.)
Dita also mentioned she’d recently had dinner with Caitlyn Jenner, which prompted Khloé to reiterate for the umpteenth time that, contrary to popular belief, she was not angry that Caitlyn wanted to transition. She was instead upset that so many people knew about it before the family did. “We just never wanted anybody to be mean to Caitlyn, and that was our biggest fear, and then after Diane Sawyer and everyone accepted Caitlyn, and there were all these other celebrities standing up for Cait. … It was just a sigh of relief,” she said. Again.
Missi Pyle Opened Up About Motherhood
Meanwhile, Missi Pyle — who had remained pretty quiet except for a few complimentary words about Charlie Sheen from when she worked on Two and a Half Men — opened up about what it’s like being a new mom and her journey to get there.
“I adopted a baby five and a half months ago. Her name is Zoey Rose. I had a few miscarriages,” she revealed. “And then in 2014, I tried IVF, and that didn’t work.” She said it was talking to a friend that convinced her to consider adoption. Though she had wanted to “have a kid out of [her] own baby-maker,” she met with an adoption lawyer, was matched with a birth mom and the rest, as they say, is history.
Khloé Wants Kids
To this, Khloé piped in that she also wants children one day. “I do want to have a baby in life. I tried IVF and all that,” she said, sighing. “But I’m also, right now in my life, I don’t just want to have a baby. I still want to have my family.” She then explained what was different before when she was going through IVF to try to get pregnant.
“At the time, I was like, Oh, I’ve got to have a baby!” the host said. “That’s all I wanted at the time, and I thought it would maybe fix the situation [with Lamar], so I’m also happy it didn’t happen because I was young. I was 27, and I thought, A baby will fix this, and it’s not going to fix that.” She went on to say that her misguided thoughts about a child fixing her marriage were “classic.”
As the episode wrapped, Khloé revealed that back in the day, she and Kourtney Kardashian ran the Dash boutique in Calabasas, California, and were happy with that. It was Kris Jenner and sister Kim Kardashian who pushed to get the family on TV. Khloé admitted she had never envisioned her life and career as they are now, but she was smiling, so it seemed like she is pretty OK with how it’s worked out so far.
Tell Us: Do you think Khloé will start a family soon?
Kocktails With Khloé airs on FYI Wednesdays at 10 p.m. ET.
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