Get ready to party! The time has come to visit the sleepy town of St. Petersburg, a quiet Florida city recently invaded by the cast of CMT's Party Down South. Yep, our turnt-up faves (including Daddy, Hott Dogg and Tiffany) are at it again!
Party Down South's fourth season premiere was filled with complete insanity (not to mention a violent brawl between Tiffany and Hott Dogg), and we're filling you in on everything you missed. Spoiler alert: you missed so much. Grab a beer funnel, tattoo a questionable design on your lower back, and get caught up with Us Weekly's recap!
P.S. Please join Us in a prayer for the roving goats who are living with the Party Down South crew. Let's hope they make it out alive.
In Which Daddy Dry Humps Everything In Sight
Ryan (aka "Daddy") started off this season with the following promise: "There will be no more banging of the roommates. My d— is staying in my pants this vacation when it comes to roommates." Wise words, though it should be noted that Daddy dry humped his bed and announced his desire to "pretzel somebody" in the pool when he arrived at his vacation home. Thank god for chlorine.
In Which Daddy Gets Confused About The Location of Florida
In a moment so sweet that it required multiple replays, Daddy confused St. Petersburg, Fla., with Saint Petersburg, Russia. "We're going to St. Pete, right?" he asked producers during a confused moment. "St. Petersburg is another country?"
No, Daddy, bless your heart. No, it's not.
In Which Tiffany Attacks Hott Dogg
So, apparently Tiffany doesn't appreciate the fact that Hott Dogg is a "fake-a– bitch" who kinda-sorta cheated on Daddy, so she face-palmed her in a drunken frenzy while everyone else was like "LOL, these two." Blood was drawn. No really, Hott Dogg was bleeding from her face and chunks of her weave were falling out all over the place.
It's time's like this that we miss simpler times — like when Tiffany shaved Daddy's back and blinded millions of viewers in the process. Memories!
In Which Lauren Loses Her Chill
Lauren partied a little too hard during night one in Florida, and after sobbing hysterically about how no one understands her relationship, throwing some glasses, and experiencing a wardrobe malfunction, she attacked one of her friends with a ping pong paddle. Meanwhile, Daddy was literally peeing in a fountain at max chill. So yes, you might say this is going to be an amazing season.
Watch Party Down South Thursdays at 9 p.m. ET on CMT.
For access to all our exclusive celebrity videos and interviews – Subscribe on YouTube!