The TLC series’ preview clip shows High joining Kate Stoltz at a salon to get a long-overdue trim. High is recently sober after a battle with substance abuse issues that led to her losing custody of her 2-year-old daughter, Oakley.
“I haven’t had a haircut in over two years because, with everything that was going on, I wasn’t really focused on that,” the reality TV star tells the camera. “I just didn’t really think about it to take care of myself when I was using.”
“Sticking a needle in your arm takes a lot of self-hatred,” she continues. “I hated myself to get to that point, and I still struggle with liking myself and liking the way I look.”
High ends up with dramatically shorter locks, and Stoltz tells her she looks “beautiful.” But while High admits she likes the change, it’s hard for her to get too happy about it.
When asked how she likes her new appearance, she says through tears, “I think it’s great, but I felt guilty because I felt like I should have been doing something for Oakley instead of myself.… I don’t feel like it’s important right now. It’s not important till I get her back.”
Watch her emotional transformation in the video above. Return to Amish airs on TLC Sundays at 9 p.m. ET.
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