The Real Housewives of New York City Season 7 reunion began with a quick recap of what the ladies have been up to since the season wrapped. Highlights included Sonja Morgan being out of debt, Carole Radziwill not having finished her next book, Dorinda Medley receiving a phone call from someone in Hillary Clinton's camp telling her that the presidential candidate "really enjoys" her on the show, and Heather Thomson making the bold decision to retire her catchphrase, "Holla!"
That news out of the way, Andy Cohen got down to business revisiting some of the biggest explosions of the season and letting the ladies tell their versions of what really went down. Spoiler alert: Most of the women who were fighting at the end of the finale… are still fighting.
Bethenny Opens Up About Her Divorce
After watching a recap showing Bethenny Frankel crying over the course of the season, Andy asked her how she felt watching herself go through all those tears.
"I know I'm aggressive and abrasive, but it's harder to be me than to deal with me," Bethenny joked. But the joking ended there — because the host moved on to the touchy subject of her divorce and asked if it was finally complete.
"No," she said before adding, "There's no way for people to realize what's really going on and I really never expected it to be like this. I've had a pretty colorful past that hasn't been the easiest and I would say that this has been, by far, the most excruciating."
Carole immediately jumped in to support Bethenny, revealing that she had witnessed the Skinnygirl mogul try to call her daughter only to have her ex, Jason Hoppy, refuse to answer the phone. "There's so many head games being played," Carole sighed.
Andy then turned the conversation to Ramona Singer, asking why she thought Bethenny and Jason didn't work out. Ramona cited her costar's packed schedule, basically saying that Bethenny had spread herself too thin and didn't leave enough time to be with her new family. (For the record, Bethenny dismissed that analysis pretty quickly.)
Heather Calls Out LuAnn
When Andy asked the group if they were excited for Bethenny's return to the show after a rather lengthy hiatus, they all said yes without missing a beat. But Heather wasn't going to let them off that easily.
"You were not excited about Bethenny coming back!" she said to LuAnn de Lesseps, adding that four of them — LuAnn, Ramona, Carole, and Heather — had toasted to taking Bethenny down before the season began.
LuAnn denied the toast; Carole confirmed it — but it didn't seem to matter because Bethenny didn't seem to care. Bethenny told Andy, straight up, that she believed it had happened but that she didn't "harbor resentment" about it.
It would be hard to forget the war that ensued after Sonja Morgan left several of the ladies in her "cold" foyer waiting before they left for their trip to Atlantic City — partly because they drank and fought the entire limo ride there, and partly because Sonja went of the rails so badly that night that Dorinda had to put her in bed.
"That set the tone for the whole season," Sonja reflected. "I couldn't dig my way back out of that." And even though many months have passed since Foyer-Gate, it seems no one is over it yet.
Sonja continued to try to defend herself with excuses involving her sister, her daughter, and the claim that her foyer is actually heated, but Heather quickly boiled over.
"There's not one person in this room that I would not let in my home," the Yummie creator said to Sonja before announcing, "Our friendship ended for me there."
At this point, LuAnn jumped in to back up Heather. "I love you, Sonja, but I would never make people wait like that," she explained. Heather ended this conversation by restating that Sonja had behaved like a bitch.
Wait, Is Sonja Bisexual?
After running a few clips in which Sonja was draping herself all over LuAnn and flashing her lack of underwear, Andy asked the self-proclaimed party girl about her comment that Carole was a "bulls— lesbian."
Sonja explained that she thought Carole was hot and wanted "to squeeze the Charmin on her." She then said that when she is drinking she likes to kiss people, but she doesn't always "hit it home." That's when Andy went for the real question and asked Sonja if she is bisexual.
"I've kissed women, but," she paused, thinking, "What do you have to do [to be bisexual]?"
Bethenny chimed in, asking Sonja, "Have you gone to South Florida?"
Sonja replied with a laugh, "Have I gone down South? Well, you know."
For one moment Heather forgot how mad she still was about being left in Sonja's foyer and cheered her castmate on. "You're sexually free!"
Is Sonja an Alcoholic?
The conversation then steered toward a more serious theme in the season: Sonja's drinking. "We love you and we worry about you," LuAnn said to Sonja, who did everything she could to deny and deflect. The Countess then added, "Sonja, you are treading on very thin ice."
Sonja jabbed back, arguing that there were "a few people" in the room that abuse alcohol.
"Half of us are in the booze business and the other half drink all the time," Carole shrugged.
Andy tried to get through to Sonja again, pointing out that she had "many friends" that were "concerned" about her.
"You're going in circles and that kind of stuff scares me," Bethenny said.
Clearly feeling like she was being hit from all sides, Sonja turned to Dorinda, who was discussing the night in Atlantic City when she helped Sonja back to her room.
"Have I not done that with you?" Sonja snapped.
"You've never put me to bed, Sonja," Dorinda said flatly. Unless something important got left on the cutting room floor — it didn't — Dorinda has a point.
Carole then took Sonja to task for her drunken claim that she used to party with "John John," aka John F. Kennedy, Jr. (who happened to be Carole's late husband's first cousin). "No one who knew him called him John John," Radzi snapped, noting that she didn't appreciate her cast-mate speaking about her deceased relative like that.
"I’m sorry that I offended you talking about John John, who was my friend," Sonja replied. "It was a good time in my life. It’s when people really knew how to party."
Bethenny wrapped things up by asking Sonja, "Do you believe your own bulls—?" For the record, Sonja said she does.
Carole and Adam Are Still Going Strong
Another wound that hasn't healed is the rift between Carole and LuAnn over Carole's relationship with Adam, who was employed as a chef by LuAnn and used to date her niece. Carole confirmed that she and Adam were, in fact, still a couple and that they had now been dating about eight months.
"Nine months!" Ramona helpfully corrected. "Because you met in October."
Carole then took LuAnn to task for giving her grief about dating a younger man when she herself also slept with younger men, and named one we hadn't seen much of, but whom the Countess had apparently seen quite a lot of.
"I'm not sleeping with him!" LuAnn said before adding, "on a regular basis." (Insert face-palm here.) She then tried to salvage her thought, saying, "A one-night stand is one thing. Saying that you're actually living with someone is another."
They then fought about what it was exactly that they were fighting about — because it was unclear whether LuAnn was upset about Adam's age or that he worked for her or that he had dated her niece. (She had cited all of these as reasons Carole's relationship was inappropriate at various times, though she had made the most jabs about the age factor during the season.)
Carole then brought up the houseboy at their villa in Turks and Caicos. Apparently his name was Alistair and he was 25, or 21, or 20 — he seemed to get younger every time anyone mentioned him.
"Everybody who did Alistair, raise their hand!" Sonja chimed.
More from the Housewives when the reunion continues on Aug. 23 — and maybe then Kristen Taekman will actually say something!
For access to all our exclusive celebrity videos and interviews – Subscribe on Youtube!