Zoo Recap: 5 Things to Know About TV’s Craziest New Thriller

James Wolk and Nora Arnezeder in Zoo.
James Wolk and Nora Arnezeder in CBS' campy thriller, Zoo. Hilary Bronwyn Gayle/CBS

Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life: the day you learn about CBS' campy new horror series, Zoo. To put it simply (though there's nothing simple about this show), Zoo is about a safari guide named Jackson Oz (James Wolk) who realizes that animals are launching a coordinated attack on humans. Yep, our pals with paws are definitely trying to murder us in our sleep, and it's a huge bummer.

Want to get into the new series? Here are the five biggest things you need to know about Zoo, which is based on a novel — but word of warning: You'll never be able to look at your dog the same way again. Man's worst enemy, more like.

1. Your Love for The Lion King Is Officially Over

Meet Jackson, a scruffy Russell Crowe look-alike who's basically the Dr. Doolittle of Zoo. Jackson spends his time being super-duper into animals (but in a cool way), leading safari tours and relaxing — but his life of luxury is ripped out from under him when his best friend and a group of tourists are murdered by lions. And yes, we assume all of them go by the name Scar.

2. Get Ready To 'Ship, Because Love Is In The Air

The good news is that Jackson meets a pretty French woman named Chloe (Nora Arnezeder) while watching his friend's attack, and judging by their chemistry, it seems likely that they'll fall in love before Zoo's first season wraps. Of course, first Chloe has to recover from the PTSD she developed after seeing all her friends get murdered…

3. Womp, Crazy Lions Are In America Too (Thanks, Obama!)

Meanwhile in Los Angeles, enthusiastic journalist Jamie Campbell (Kristen Connolly) is obsessed with finding out what led two zoo lions to break out of their cage and get their murder on. She meets up with veterinarian Mitch Morgan (Billy Burke) to get info about the ferocious felines, and it looks like they'll be doing some digging together throughout the season. (Note: digging = kissing.)

4. There's A Love Triangle

Jamie has history with her boss, Ethan, whom she's casually been dating for more than a year — there's definitely a little something between her and Mitch. Expect sparks to fly and hearts to break.

5. Tumblr Is Right: Your Cat Is Plotting To Kill You

While on the hunt for some breaking feline news, Jamie discovers that the cats in her neighborhood have inexplicably disappeared. The good news is that Mitch manages to locate them using his veterinary super powers. The bad news is that they were found huddled en masse at a summer camp. Well this is horrifying. #SaveTheChildren

Zoo airs Tuesdays at 9 p.m. ET on CBS.

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