Jesse: "I Wanted to Get Caught" Cheating on Sandra Bullock

Celebrity News May. 24, 2010 AT 11:27AM

Jesse James says he wanted wife Sandra Bullock to know he was cheating with Michelle "Bombshell" McGee.

"During the midst of it, it made me feel horrible... I knew I wanted to get caught," James, 41, tells Nightline (in a teaser clip shown on Good Morning America Monday morning). "I know for a fact what it was... it was me trying to self-sabotage my life."

PHOTOS: Sandra and Jesse in happier times

James says he never meant to hurt his wife of nearly five years, Bullock, 45.

"I never in a million years... The last person I wanted to hurt or harm is her or the kids. I spent my whole life with the kids and with her trying to protect her and protect her from everything. The most hurt she's ever been caused is by the person who wanted to protect her," he says.

PHOTOS: Shocking images of Michelle McGee

"It's really terrible and she's going to be hurt for a long time," he adds. "I still really love her and care about her."

James says he knows "100 percent" that Bullock -- who is now raising adopted baby Louis Bardo, 4 months, as a single parent -- will divorce him. Still, he says the public has been harder on him than Bullock.

VIDEO: Jesse says he threw away his marriage

"I think I'm the most hated man in the world now," he says. "I took a pretty amazing life and amazing success and everything and threw it away by my own hands."

PHOTOS: Stars caught cheating

James also denies that he's a nazi. An Us Weekly photo, taken while was dating Bullock, shows him giving the Heil Hitler sign. He says he's a "big tattooed white guy... it's really easy to judge a book by its cover."

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