Long before Tori Spelling found the love of her life in hubby Dean McDermott, the Beverly Hills, 90210 star dated some real duds in L.A.
The 38-year-old actress, reality star and author -- currently expecting her third child with McDermott, 44 -- opened up about the "worst date" of her life in a Wednesday blog post.
"Back in my 20s when I was on 90210, I was at a club one night and bumped into a guy that I hadn't seen since high school," she wrote. "At the time, Donna Martin was making crappy boy choices, but I was determined to find The One!"
After exchanging numbers, Spelling's former classmate rang her up three days later and made reservations at the "chicest, most expensive and trendiest new restaurant/lounge in Beverly Hills."
Impressed, Spelling agreed to see him on Friday and began fantasizing about her future with "Mr. Right" -- and the decadent menu, which included bone marrow and duck salad, oysters Rockefeller, pan seared foie gras on toast points, and braised lamb shank pappardelle pasta.
Spelling was disappointed to learn that her date wasn't interested in sampling the fine cuisine. "He announced, slamming down his menu, 'I'm not very hungry. What do you say we just get drinks?' What? Was this really happening? Was braised lamb shank not in my future?" she wondered.
"Four rum and Cokes and two hours of a one-way conversation later, I was way too drunk and bored," Spelling complained. "I was feeling sick. Actually, the room started spinning at this point, as he went on and on about how David Charvet robbed him blind from what would have been his breakout role on Baywatch."
"The whole kitchen staff looked up at me. . .I put my hands up to cover my mouth, but I knew it was too late. A waiter rushed over with a massive copper saucepan where I proceeded to vomit the four rum and cokes and the Cliff Bar I had had at 11 a.m. into it. It was Donna Martin prom night all over again. I was mortified!" she wrote. "I then apologized and mumbled 'I'll be back for the shank' as I stumbled back out of the kitchen."
When Spelling returned to the table, she informed her date that she wasn't feeling well and needed to go home -- "a.k.a. you starved me all night, liquored me up, and talked my ear off, you cocky bastard."
Things got worse when they arrived at Spelling's apartment, where he "went in for an end-of-the-night kiss, apparently unaware that I had blown chunks in the trendiest kitchen in Hollywood."
After politely rejecting his advances, Spelling's date promised he would take her out again.
"The kicker is he actually did call. But not for two weeks, and when he did, he asked if I could get him an audition for a new series my dad was producing," she said. "I hung up defeated, wondering, if I put on a dark wig and glasses, could I slink back into that restaurant and order the lamb? Or at the very least, drop off a new copper saucepan for them."