So who in Westeros is Cousin Oliver? With Game of Thrones' season five premiere presumably many, many months away, fans of HBO's blockbuster saga will have to sate themselves with George R.R. Martin's books and, well, GoT internet fodder—including an extremely helpful, cross-genre new goodie from celeb-geek Wil Wheaton. Pointing out that GoT's beloved theme song and opening sequence, a soaring breeze through Westeros and its realms, "doesn't tell us anything about the characters and their complicated relationships."

To right that wrong, the Big Bang Theory guest star, 41, presents a more expository GoT opener: An LOL mash-up of the Brady Bunch theme song that delves into all the drama facing the Houses Stark, Lannister and more.

"Here's the story of a lovely lady," the familiar song begins, this time introducing evil Cersei Lannister (Lena Headey) grinning against a blue tile background, "Who was bringing up three kids, one a pest [Joffrey Baratheon]. He had hair of gold like his uncle [Jaime Lannister], because of incest!"

The rejiggered theme song goes on to explain the quick beheading of Ned Stark (oops, spoiler!), the castration of Theon Greyjoy and more atrocities. When all is explained, there's a whole lot more than nine blue tiles on the screen.

Watch the Brady Bunch-GoT mash-up now! (Spoilers, obviously.)