Say what? One of the double-Ks is getting double Ds? Khloé Kardashian spent Keeping Up With the Kardashians' season 12 midseason premiere deliberating over getting some surgical enhancements, while her sister Kim Kardashian tried to calm down their mom, Kris Jenner, who was feeling betrayed that her kids were being too nice to ex Caitlyn Jenner. The usual, right?
The Naked Truth
The episode started with Kim's husband, Kanye West, unveiling his "Famous" music video. Maybe you remember it? It had a bunch of wax figures that depicted naked celebrities in bed, and it caused some commotion earlier this summer.
"There’s so much craziness around everything that this was, like, their peaceful resting time!” Kim said by way of explaining the video's concept. OK, Kim!
The peacefulness was short-lived. Caitlyn — who was included in the NSFW lineup — called Kim, and the mobile game mogul told the former Olympic hero how incredible her naked wax figure looked. Caitlyn, it turns out, was the only person who was informed that her nude form would be featured in a project millions of people would see. So considerate!
"I was speechless," Kris said of the "creepy, powerful, magnificent" video. But then, looking almost hurt, she asked her daughter, "Why Caitlyn?"
Kim said something about how Caitlyn has a history with Kanye and is a pretty big figure in celebrity culture right now, but Kris didn’t look like she felt any better after that …
A few days later, Kourtney Kardashian talked to Kris and baby daddy Scott Disick about her plans for the summer, revealing she was taking the kids out of town for three weeks. She casually said she had no plans to take Scott. Um … awkward.
"I realize that Kourtney and I aren’t together, but we do spend every day together with the kids," he said. "It does feel like a very long time."
For the remainder of the episode, he wandered around, visiting each of the Kardashian sisters while complaining that he didn't realize how bored and lost he'd be without his kids and ex-girlfriend around. Khloé was annoyed by his presence, but wanted to make sure he wasn’t going to start passing his downtime by relapsing into old behavior patterns, like partying too much.
The Strong Looks Better Naked author encouraged him to pursue a hobby, so he tried to get back into house-flipping. That’s healthy! We were so proud!
Slice and Dice Ain't That Nice
Khloé explained that she’s thought about getting a breast enhancement "for years," and though she’s always had "somewhat decent-sized boobs," her major weight loss recently has drastically reduced them.
She practiced by putting gel inserts in her bra and dancing around for Kim and Scott, which is the new Most Kardashian Thing Ever.
Later, Kim tried to talk Khloé out of going too big. "It really is a tougher way to live," Kim cautioned her younger sister as the fitness guru ran around, jiggling her testers in glee.
"We're in L.A.!" Khloé proclaimed. “I feel like people get their boobs done like they fill up their car with gas."
In the end, she went to a consultation and was told that not only could she not be guaranteed that her implants wouldn’t harden with scar tissue and look “like tennis balls,” but she couldn’t work out for a month after the surgery. And so ended that subplot dream … for now.
A few days later, Kim went to help Caitlyn with her outfit for the ESPYs, picking out dresses and Snapchatting the whole thing. Kris texted Khloé about it, calling it, and we quote, "#disloyal."
“I don't fully understand why she’s so angry … and why we’re speaking in hashtags,” Khloé told the camera before calling Kim over so they could confront their mother via phone call.
Over speakerphone, Kris called Kim a "traitor" and said she felt "abandoned."
The fashion icon replied that she is trying to be neutral, and that’s when Kris lost it. “I don’t want f--king neutral!” the momager sobbed, explaining that when she gave birth to her kids, she didn’t “sign up” for neutral. She wanted Kim to choose her over Caitlyn.
In spite of saying repeatedly she had no idea that Kris even still had hard feelings regarding her ex, Kim admitted to feeling guilty. She and Khloé took their mom on a day trip to the suite from Pretty Woman, which is Kris’ favorite movie.
"I think, just if I had known, I would have had time to absorb that," Kris said, and it wasn’t clear if she was referring specifically to Kim helping Cait with the ESPYs, or more broadly to Cait announcing she was trans and undergoing a sex change after her divorce from Kris. "I don’t have anyone to talk to who has been through something similar."
She apologized for getting so worked up, and they all went shopping after wondering out loud, "What would Julia Roberts do?"
Tell Us: Was Kris right to freak out and call Kim #disloyal?
Keeping Up With the Kardashians airs on E! Sundays at 9 p.m. ET.