Dad Literally Bores His Baby to Sleep By Talking About His Job

Kevin Payne has no need for soothing lullabies. The dad from Cortlandt Manor, New York, simply bores his baby boy to sleep by describing what he does at work. Payne shared a video of their bedtime routine to his Facebook page and it’s like watching a bad date, but even funnier.

In the clip, the technology resiliency manager, 32, holds his 5-month-old son Carter. “Hey bud,” Payne begins. “So I wanted to take a few minutes just to explain to you what I do for a living. It’s really quite exciting.”

But Carter doesn’t agree. Within seconds his eyes glaze over and he begins to doze off. “Hey, Hey,” Panye says, jiggling the baby awake. “It’s not that boring. It’s not that boring.”

Kevin Payne and baby Carter
Kevin Payne and baby Carter Courtesy of The Payne Family

Payne, who is also dad of Addy, 3, has never been one for typical bedtime stories. He leaves that to his wife, Eryn. “I use my kids as a sounding board for some of the random thoughts that run through my head at various hours of the night,” he exclusively tells Us Weekly. “Eryn takes the more traditional route as she was blessed with a voice that doesn’t cause others to wince in pain.”

Addy was spared of the career talk. “With her I would sing the Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song,” he says. “I would also talk to her about various political topics as I’ve come to realize a newborn is the only one you can safely discuss politics with.”

The Payne Family
The Payne Family Courtesy of The Payne Family

Adds Payne: “With two kids who are not good sleepers you try anything that will work and repeat it until it loses effectiveness!”

Watch the video above to see Carter unable to keep his eyes open as Payne drones on about mundane details of his job.

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