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Ciara Felt Like She Was ‘Failing’ Amid Split From Ex-Fiance Future: ‘None of It Was Ideal’

Now that Ciara’s personal life has gotten a “Level Up” with husband Russell Wilson, she’s opening up about her 2014 split from her ex-fiancé, Future.

Related: Most Bitter Celebrity Breakups of All Time

Though she didn’t mention her 35-year-old ex by name during her recent appearance on Red Table Talk, the “Thinking Bout You” singer, 33, discussed facing the prospect of being a single mother of their 5-year-old son, Future Zahir.

Future and Ciara attend the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards at the Barclays Center on August 25, 2013 in the Brooklyn borough of New York City. Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV

“I’d be in the shower … crying because I’m not in the happiest place and it hurts what I’m going through,” she said on the Facebook Watch show. “It was a combination of everything because none of it was ideal.”

She elaborated: “I grew up with my mom and dad being together, the idea of it being, ‘Mommy and Daddy that made baby.’ Then, all of a sudden, you’re living your life in front of the world. That adds a whole other layer. ‘I feel like I’m failing right now. They’re gonna roast me. Here they come in the comment section.’ … All that stuff. It’s real. You can’t help but to think of it.”

Related: Just Like Us: Celebrity Moms

Ultimately, Ciara wanted to stop wasting her time on an unhealthy relationship, as she explained on the show. “I really fear that because you realize that time does not stop,” she added. “And it would be the worst scenario to stay in a situation that is just not healthy, is not going to get any better. I realized I had to start making different decisions. Period. … Knowing what you don’t want is really important. That’s more than half [the battle].”

She also imagined a better situation for Future Zahir. “When I was thinking about my son, I know what I want to feel,” she said. “Like, I know the kind of love I want for us. If you stay in situations that are not healthy, or if you let them linger too long, you start to lose yourself. I don’t like crying all the time. I don’t like being sad, so I was like, ‘How do I get out of this?’”

Related: Ciara’s Greatest Fashion Hits: See Her Top 10 Red Carpet Looks

Ciara found another shot at love when she met Wilson, the Seattle Seahawks quarterback. She and the 30-year-old athlete got married in July 2016 and welcomed 2-year-old daughter Sienna Princess in April 2017.

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