The 22-year-old pop superstar — who took the BBMAs stage on Sunday, May 22, to perform a medley of singles “Company” and “Sorry” — shared a lengthy rant on Instagram to let fans know that he doesn’t “feel good” when he goes to awards shows.
“I try to think of it as a celebration but can’t help feeling like people are rating and grading my performance,” he wrote on Monday, May 23. “A lot of people in the audience there [seem to be] worried about how much camera time they will get or who they can network with. When I’m doing a regular show I feel they are there for the right reasons and to strictly have a good time! But these award shows seem so hollow.”
Bieber, who is currently in the midst of his Purpose World Tour, continued, “I get the premise is to award people for their accomplishments, but is it really? Because when I look in the audience I see a bunch of fake smiles so that when the camera hits them they look happy. Sure there are people truly proud of others so I don’t want to knock them I’m just looking at the vast majority. I just think to myself if I’m living my purpose I want the reward to be fulfillment. I’m getting awarded for the things that I’m doing and not for who I am which is understandable I know it would probably be hard to calculate and award someone’s spirit lol. But When I do get these awards the temptation of putting my worth in what I do is so hard to fight!!! I am privileged and honored to be recognized by my peers but in these settings I can’t feel the recognition. There’s an authenticity missing that I crave! And I wonder does anybody else..”
The “Love Yourself” singer concluded his extended Instagram rant on Monday with an apology — for his grammar. “Sorry not sorry about grammar it’s not my strong point,” he wrote.
Earlier this month, Bieber told fans that he wouldn’t pose with them for selfies anymore because it makes him “feel like a zoo animal.” In March, he canceled all of his tour meet-and-greets, citing exhaustion “to the point of depression.”
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