Never break a chart-topper’s heart. She’ll only end up making a killer album and selling millions. Such is the case with Grammy winner Katy Perry almost two years after her then-husband of 14 months, Russell Brand, filed for divorce. The split was devastating to Perry, now 29, who recalls the painful period in her life in her new January 2014 Marie Claire cover story.
“There were two weeks of my life after I found out the truth of my marriage where I was like, ‘OK. All right. I can’t feel this. This is too intense right now,'” Perry told the magazine. “I was, like, just eating Flamin’ Hot Cheetos and drinking, and that’s it.”
In fact, the “Unconditionally” singer’s pain was so extreme, she’s admitted she considered taking her own life.
“I think she felt so kicked in the head and so publicly embarrassed at being divorced by a text message,” Perry’s producing partner Greg Wells said. “She was at a huge low and was thinking about not leaving the bathroom forever.”
But instead of taking drastic measures with her life or turning her new album, Prism, down a dark path, Perry opted for a more optimistic outlook.
“There are two ways you can go: You can either nurture yourself or go destructive. I have gone down the destructive path before, and that didn’t work for me,” she continued. “You dig deep beyond those scars and find that soft tissue again, and you massage and nurture it and bring it to life, little by little, through serving yourself well. I did it through hikes and vitamins and therapy and prayer and good friends.”
One such supporter is Perry’s boyfriend of more than a year, John Mayer. The initially on-and-off couple has taken their romance seriously public, even recording a song together.
“He’s just a fantastic partner,” she gushed. “I’ve been a fan of his for such a long time. He’s got a brilliant, brilliant mind … It’s a rad, mature relationship.”
It’s no secret she’s come a long way from her days Katheryn Hudson, daughter to born-again preacher Keith and his wife Mary Perry Hudson. And though she’s completely separated herself from her parents culturally and politically, they remain close.
“People don’t understand that I have a great relationship with my parents—like, how that can exist,” she said. “There isn’t any judgment. They don’t necessarily agree with everything I do, but I don’t necessarily agree with everything they do. They’re at peace with—they pray for me is what they do.”
Perry also doesn’t associate herself with one religion.
“I’m not Buddhist, I’m not Hindu, I’m not Christian, but I still feel like I have a deep connection with God,” she revealed. “I pray all the time—for self-control, for humility. There’s a lot of gratitude in it. Just saying ‘thank you’ sometimes is better than asking for things.”