Would Liz Lemon approve?
"It is less dangerous to draw a cartoon of Allah French-kissing Uncle Sam. . . than it is to speak honestly about [working moms]," writes Fey, 40, in "Confessions of a Juggler."
The Emmy-Award winner, who is mom to five-year-old daughter Alice with hubby Jeff Richmond, explains people are constantly looking at her with "accusatory eyes" and asking how she juggles everything.
"Sometimes I just hand them a juicy red apple I’ve poisoned in my working-mother witch cauldron and fly away,” she quips. "There’s another great movie idea! Baby Versus Work: A hard-working baby looking for love (Kate Hudson) falls for a handsome pile of papers (Hugh Grant). I would play the ghost of a Victorian poetess who anachronistically tells Kate to 'go for it.'"
Fey goes on to poke fun at the double standard for ladies of a certain age in Hollywood.
"I know older men in comedy who can barely feed and clean themselves, and they still work," she writes. "The women, though, they’re all ‘crazy.’ I have a suspicion that the definition of ‘crazy’ in show business is a woman who keeps talking even after no one wants to f**k her anymore."
For access to all our exclusive celebrity videos and interviews – Subscribe on YouTube!