Colton Underwood Addresses Controversial Coming Out Interview After Cassie Randolph Drama, Details Past Romances With Men and More

Owning his true self. Colton Underwood is telling all, nearly one month after coming out as gay on Good Morning America. Underwood, 29, first appeared on Bachelor Nation on season 14 of The Bachelorette in 2018. He briefly starred on Bachelor in Paradise and was announced as the Bachelor in September 2018. At the end of his season, he chose to continue dating Cassie Randolph until their split in May 2020. “I got into a place with my personal life that was dark, and bad, and I can list a bunch of different things, but they’d all be excuses,” Underwood explained during his April Good Morning America interview, seemingly citing an incident with Randolph which led to her filing a restraining order in late 2020, which was later dropped. “I think overall, the reason why now is because I got to a place where I didn’t think I was ever going to share this I don’t, I would have rather died than, say, I’m gay. I think that was sort of my wake-up call.”

Last month, the former NFL player came out to Robin Roberts, detailing his inner battle through the years. “This year’s been a lot for a lot of people and it’s probably made a lot of people look at themselves in the year and figure out who they are,” he said at the time. “I’ve ran from myself for a long time, I’ve hated myself for a long time. I’m gay. I came to terms with that earlier this year, and the next step in all of this was sort of letting people know." The reality star added, "I’m the happiest and healthiest I’ve ever been in my life. That means the world to me." Scroll through the gallery below for everything he shared during his new interview. [podcast_block]

Owning his true self. Colton Underwood is telling all, nearly one month after coming out as gay on Good Morning America. Underwood, 29, first appeared on Bachelor Nation on season 14 of The Bachelorette in 2018. He briefly starred on Bachelor in Paradise and was announced as the Bachelor in September 2018. At the end of his season, he chose to continue dating Cassie Randolph until their split in May 2020. “I got into a place with my personal life that was dark, and bad, and I can list a bunch of different things, but they’d all be excuses,” Underwood explained during his April Good Morning America interview, seemingly citing an incident with Randolph which led to her filing a restraining order in late 2020, which was later dropped. “I think overall, the reason why now is because I got to a place where I didn’t think I was ever going to share this I don’t, I would have rather died than, say, I’m gay. I think that was sort of my wake-up call.”

Last month, the former NFL player came out to Robin Roberts, detailing his inner battle through the years. “This year’s been a lot for a lot of people and it’s probably made a lot of people look at themselves in the year and figure out who they are,” he said at the time. “I’ve ran from myself for a long time, I’ve hated myself for a long time. I’m gay. I came to terms with that earlier this year, and the next step in all of this was sort of letting people know." The reality star added, "I’m the happiest and healthiest I’ve ever been in my life. That means the world to me." Scroll through the gallery below for everything he shared during his new interview. [podcast_block]

One year before sharing his truth with the world, he came out to his publicist. "I, at one point, during my rock bottom and spiral, was getting blackmailed," he stated. "Nobody knows I was blackmailed."

He explained that last year, he secretly visited a spa known for catering to gay clientele and received an anonymous email from someone claiming to have taken nude photos of him at the venue and threatening to "out" him, he came out to his rep.

“I did not physically touch or physically abuse Cassie in any way, shape or form,” he told Variety. He also responded to backlash over his coming out, as some claimed he was using his sexuality to cover up his past mishaps. While he couldn't get into any details about the allegations, he notes it was "never my intentions" to cover anything up.

He explained that he was in such a "dark" place after their split because he knew it was his last straight relationship. "It’s not who I am as a human being, and it’s not how I carry myself,” Underwood said. “If there was anything I could do to take more ownership, I would. But also, out of respect to her, I don’t want to get into the details. I want this interview to be the last time I address her because it’s not fair for her to have her name in articles every time I talk. I’m sorry, and I want her to know that I hope she has the best, most beautiful life."

Underwood said that he hopes ABC will have a conversation about having a gay lead — but he's not sure he'd return to the franchise. "I don’t like speaking in definitives, but I’m not in a position to be in a show like that," he said. "I’m at a crossroads in my life right now."

The ABC alum noted that last summer he took an excessive amount of pills. "I tried to end my life, and it didn’t work,” he recalled. “That was the saddest and most confused and most hurt [feeling].

Underwood noted that he didn't have a gay person in his life to look up to, especially in the football world, but did look at Ricky Martin as an icon. He also rented Brokeback Mountain using his friend's Blockbuster account.

"I’ll say this. I was ‘the Virgin Bachelor,’ but I did experiment with men prior to being on The Bachelorette," the former football player revealed, noting he was a virgin when first joining the show. "When I say ‘hookups,’ not sex. I want to make that very clear that I did not have sex with a man, prior to that.”

He said he felt "so guilty" during his relations with men, explaining, "It was my first time letting myself even go there, so much so that I was like, ‘I need The Bachelorette in my life, so I could be straight.'"

Underwood joined Grindr under an alias in 2016, but no longer is on the app.

The upcoming Netflix show will feature Nicole M. Garcia, a transgender Latina pastor, as well as show Underwood coming out to his family. “First, I put that on myself — what was I doing that he felt he couldn’t open up to me? But Colton said, ‘I didn’t know what I was yet. I was still struggling,'" the star's father, Scott Underwood, said. "I understood that. He was still trying to figure himself out. If it just helps a few young men and women come out and be proud of themselves and understand that all parents aren’t going to be upset, it can save lives."