Dating Naked Episode 8 Recap: Nude Jetskiing, Tears, a “Jersey Shore Barbie” and More

Mike and Monaey in Dating Naked
Mike and Monaey in Dating Naked 

Sun’s out, bums out! On Thursday’s episode of VH1’s Dating Naked, two new contestants arrive on a private island ready to bare it all in search of love. Drop those pants and let’s recap!

Day 1

Mike, a 29-year-old MC, radio host and member of a music group, continuously finds himself misunderstood by the “party girls” he dates. Breakups certainly don’t leave the Philly-native’s ego wounded, though. As he assures viewers, “I’m awesome.” Phew.

Then, there’s Moenay, an L.A.-based Carnival Cruise ship dancer and entertainer. She describes her previous dating experience as “a mess,” and within the first two minutes, she’s already letting the tears stream down her face. Unfortunately, all her siblings and friends are in relationships and she’s been left . . . single. “I don’t know what I have to fix,” she desperately explains. “I’m very afraid to end up alone.” Well Moenay, you’ve come to the right place.

Time to strip down and expose it all. After stealing a glimpse at what each other’s working with Monenay announces, “His penis looks fine. It looked doable” ­ the disrobed daters set out into the ocean on a jet ski. Getting closer with each wave, Mike admits he’s fighting the urge to “motorboat her. But I didn’t because I’m a gentleman.” Yes, that’s why. He does, however, let the obvious slip: “Your vagina’s on my ass, this is crazy!”

The two ride out to a private sailboat where, to Mike’s confusion, an octopus awaits them for lunch. Though his initial reluctance to try the new food is a slight turn off, Moenay is quick to let it slide. She’s feeling a connection because he understands that she travels for work, and he’s into her because, well, “She’s not someone who just wants to get drunk every night,” he says. And if that’s not the foundation of a solid relationship, than what is?

That night, the two meet up again at the Jungle Villa (clothing optional, of course). While he tells her he’s into “dat ass,” she asks the important questions, like what’s his favorite sexual position. Hers: Anything involving mirrors, and, what do you know, Mike points out there’s one in the bathroom! But sorry kiddo, it’s just a goodnight kiss and then Moenay is off to bed. She later squeals to the camera, “My heart is racing. I can definitely see myself falling in love.”

Monaey and Mike in Dating Naked
Monaey and Mike in Dating Naked

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Day 2

On to the next one! Though he claimed Moenay set the bar high, all is quickly erased when Mike sets eyes on Stephanie. In a rehearsed baby voice, the second dater confesses she’s perfect. Why? Because, “I love to look my best.” And Mike is totally into that.

The pair play carnival-style games set up on the beach, but the law firm assistant has him . . . distracted. “Her ass, boobs, face, her boobs,” he gushes to the camera of her best, er, assets. “I mean, her boobs were just like perfect.” They crack open a bottle of tequila and really get down to the deeper things, such as Stephanie’s fantasy of having sex on the beach. “Well, isn’t that convenient?” Mike muses. Adding, “She could be my future one-night stand.”

Moenay, however, doesn’t have the same luck on her paddleboarding date with life coach Dan. Though he’s got the looks of an aged Abercrombie model, the 42-year-old (!) has an odd habit of discussing vibrations and shifts in energy. He makes no sense as he drags on the forced conversation. “He’s giving me these weird stares like he’s trying to steal my soul,” a frightened Moenay says during her confessional. “My date’s weird.” Indeed.

Back at the villa, Mike and Moenay dish about day two. Bummed to hear he clicked with his date, she strips down to remind him about her toned figure. But once Stephanie arrives, all bets are off. “I wouldn’t say Stephanie looked like a Barbie. More like the Jersey Shore version,” Moeney sneered as Mike lifts his jaw off the ground. “Her body was well paid for.” Stuck listening to “old man Dan” explain how to harness the planet’s frequency from within, she chugs her glass of wine and calls it a night. Mike and Stephanie, on the other hand, head to his room to continue the evening activities. As Mike explains, “I like having sex earlier in the relationship because if you wait too long and it’s f—-ing bad, you’re stuck.” You tell ’em, Mike.

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Day 3

Third time’s definitely not the charm for Moenay. Her final date pulls out of the show before even meeting her. Without revealing his identity, he tells a producer, “My mother said, ‘If you do this you’ll embarrass us all,’ and I just can’t.” Of course, being stood up by a total stranger leaves her in tears . . . again. “I just feel robbed,” she cries. “It’s heartbreaking. I feel like it was another failure.”

But, Mike’s last date with Shealyn, 29, isn’t anything to call home about, either. The highlight for him: watching her boobs go “bouncy, bouncy, bouncy” while he drives a tiki-decorated golf cart through the jungle. Once they pull up at the beach, he tests her flexibility in a game of limbo ­ and she fails. “We have a cool connection,” he says, but “It’s not a romantic connection.”

At the final pool party, Moenay sets out to claim her man, but Stephanie isn’t one to share. Though Mike says he’s torn, his indecision quickly passes when Stephanie steals him away for a heavy makeout in the shower. Quips Moenay, “I think the helium in her tits may effect her voice.” Cue yet another sobbing confessional from the rejected dancer.

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Selection Ceremony

Before Mike and Moenay can lock in who they want to continue seeing, she pulls him aside to try and sway his decision in her favor. “I care about you,” she admits, urging him to think long-term. “What happens when the tequila bottle’s empty?” Ugh, so deep. She then grabs his face and goes in for a kiss. Whatever will he do?

Cut to the ceremony, and Moenay reveals she originally intended to leave paradise solo, rejecting both guys. But, in the end, a change of heart has her choosing Mike. But is he on board? After weighing the pros and cons of each woman (er, or who has the better rack?), he opts for Stephanie. “I’m a risk taker,” he says of his pick. But don’t cry, Moenay! The ever-kind VH1 invites her back for another episode to take another stab at dating naked and finding her (bare) soulmate. It’s a win-win for everyone… sort of. And even more good news: It’s revealed that Stephanie and Mike are still talking, and have recorded a song together.

To cap it off, in the wise words of Mike, “As long as you’re comfortable with yourself and in your own skin, the rest is just clothes.” Dating Naked airs on VH1, Thursdays at 9 p.m. EST.

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