Jane Villanueva (Gina Rodriguez) is no longer a married mom and virgin. Let the choir sing. On Jane the Virgin's Monday, October 31, episode, newlyweds Jane and Michael (Brett Dier) finally had sex. However, unlike everything else that’s happened on the show, the scene everyone's been waiting for was anything but romantic, perfect or telenovela-style. It was so ordinary, in fact, that it was all of Us during, before and after our first time.
Besides the fact that Jane accidentally taped herself having sex with Michael and sent it to her professor (c'mon, there has to be some telenovela flare in there), everything she experienced surprisingly brought us right down memory lane.
Here are the ways Jane was all of Us when finally having sex for the first time:
No One Would Just Let Her Get to It
When Michael finally got the OK to have sex after recovering from getting shot, he and Jane couldn’t have sprinted to their new home any faster. It was penetration o'clock. And all of their enthusiasm, anxiousness and excitement was shot down multiple times by Jane’s family, who decided to visit at that exact moment. Rogelio (Jaime Camil) was at the house when they arrived, and as soon as he left, Xiomara (Andrea Navedo) and Alba (Ivonne Coll) came over … with a cake. Everything going wrong just before you’re about to have sex for the first time? And when you’re planning for it to be perfect? Yup, all of Us.
The Small Talk Before and After
Sex for the first time is not like the movies. There’s no romantic music, moans or slow-mo shots. There's nervously talking things through beforehand and lying next to each other afterwards to figure out what just happened. It's awkward. When Michael asked how it was for her, she laid there and responded, "Good. Thirsty, though." Not, "Amazing, let’s do it again." Pretty much what went through all of our heads too.
It Actually Sucked Big Time
After all the hype and anticipation, it wasn’t even that great. In fact, it was pretty bad. Afterward, Jane felt totally underwhelmed when she knew she should’ve been jumping for joy. This left her perplexed and sort of worried — because is that what sex is really like? *Questioning life itself.*
The Whole Thing Lasted 20 Minutes
Any longer would be highly optimistic, wouldn’t you agree?
She Faked Her Orgasm
When Jane saw Michael approaching his grand finale, she totally faked hers. "I knew it was going to take me a while," she told Lina (Diane Guerrero). Her solution — and all of ours (right?) — was to fake it. No one's first time is that enjoyable anyway, so why prolong the process?
She Got in Her Own Head
After faking it until she didn't quite make it, Jane was overthinking the whole experience and ones she had afterward. She thought things like: What went wrong? Will it get better? Are she and Michael not compatible in bed? Thus, lack of real orgasms continued.
Experimentation Was the Answer
Since the first time was a total flop, Jane assumed that spicing things up with some experimentation was the ticket. Dirty talk was one approach, which was shot down by Michael. The other was a gel to make her feel sensational things. And that it did — because it burned, really badly. "It feels like wasabi down there," she screamed. Nothing like not knowing what the hell you’re doing in bed, right?
She Convinced Herself It Was Good
When telling Lina and Xo that she finally swiped her V-card, she described it with an empty yet hopeful "good." Because how else do you tell people that this pivotal life moment was actually a trip to Underwhelm Town? The awkwardness prevails even after the virginity is lost, unfortunately.
Rethinking Herself and Her Life
Although sex is something that can't come soon enough (just before we actually have it for the first time), once the deed is done, we can't go back.
Jane couldn't fully enjoy being deflowered, not only because it wasn't everything she hoped it would be, but because she was busy questioning her entire existence. She had flashbacks of Alba preaching virginity when she was a little girl and told Xo, "I feel weird, like I lost something." After doing it, we suddenly felt like different people because our innocence was gone forever. Tear. Little did we know, though, we actually gained something amazing, which Xo explained to Jane. Thank God.
So if Jane Villanueva's first time wasn’t even perfect, there’s not much hope for the rest of us. At least we're in it together.
Tell Us: What did you think of Jane's pivotal moment?
Jane the Virgin airs on The CW Mondays at 9 p.m. ET.
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