Lauren Conrad Mocks Heidi’s Playboy Cover

In August's Harper's Bazaar, Lauren Conrad takes Heidi and Spencer Pratt to task over their fame-seeking ways — and her former BFF's boob job.

Conrad is asked why Montag decided to pose in the September issue of Playboy. In a sly reference to Montag's cosmetic enhancements, Conrad replies, "They're not going to pay for themselves."

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Her digs don't stop there. "I don't call magazines and let them know about things so they can write stories," she says of the Pratts. "There was never an incentive to keep doing The Hills so I could get into [Hollywood club] Les Deux. That was never the point. It was more to create a fan base so I can go create a business and do something I really love doing."

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She also slams them for wearing masks in Mexico during the recent swine-flu scare following their May wedding. "I don't know if it was so funny because people really were being affected by that disease," she says. "But otherwise [Heidi and Spencer] are very entertaining. You have to laugh."

See intimate photos from Heidi and Spencer's wedding

Conrad also reflects on her decision to leave The Hills, addressing the various perils of her fame. "The last three concerts I went to, I was removed by security because I was a fire hazard," she says. "People crowd around you and you lose that whole personal-space concept." "My roommate went to Europe for two months, but I couldn't take a vacation without clearing it months and months ahead of time," she says, citing another downfall of starring on a reality show. "My friends all got to date guys who didn't need to sign a release form."

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Conrad also says filming "affected the underwear I had to buy because I needed thicker underwear with a more sturdy band so it could hold up a microphone." "I couldn't wear whites or prints because they don't look good on film," she explains. "I had to consult a director of photography when I picked the paint for my walls because I had to have set lighting in my living room and kitchen. I had to have separate birthday parties for my filming and non-filming friends." For Bazaar, Conrad wore a brown wig, which hairstylist Ken Paves has decided to personally donate the wig to a girl named Emily who is undergoing Chemo treatments at a hospital in the Detroit area.

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