A wise man once said that guys want a lady on the streets, but a freak in the bed (thanks for that insight, Ludacris) — and that certainly seems to be true among the “campers” on Marriage Boot Camp: Reality Stars. On the Friday, July 15, episode, the celebs were forced to open up about their sex lives (or lack thereof), and while some were all too eager to share, others literally ran from the room. (Tara Reid, we’re talking to you.)
Casting a bit of a cloud over the entire house, however, was the knowledge that Memphitz would be leaving soon to appear in court in Atlanta on charges of aggravated assault, and that he might not return. He and Toya Wright seemed to be making progress, but she was concerned about their future if he failed to complete the therapy.
Director Elizabeth Carroll kicked off the sex talk with an exercise in which people used chemistry beakers filled with different colored liquids to represent the things that were lacking in the bedroom. By comparing the partners’ beakers, she could get a clear picture of whether they were on the same page about what was happening between the sheets. Factors included frequency, length of time for each session, spontaneity, openness and creativity.
Some couples, like Tara and Dean May, appeared to be in agreement, both thinking they could be doing it more often and for longer periods of time — but others, like Brittish Williams and Lorenzo Gordon had very different viewpoints.
Brittish was OK with sex about four times per week, but Lorenzo wanted it 14 times per week. For two hours each time. That’s 28 hours of sex every week — and that was only the beginning of his requests. He also wanted “Olympic-style” bedroom activities that required Brittish to maneuver like a gymnast to keep him entertained. The other women looked at Brittish with pity in their eyes when they heard this, and Michelle Money commented that Lorenzo might “kill her with his penis.”
Tara Is No Puppet Master
The directors then turned things up a notch by forcing the couples to act out their sex lives using puppets. According to Jim and Elizabeth, the puppets would allow them to express thoughts and feelings they might not otherwise share, but not everyone was buying it. “Tara and I are not going to do this,” Dean whispered into his mic to the production crew before Tara claimed to suddenly feel sick, and stormed off to their room.
While Cody Sattler and Michelle had a little too much fun showing off how great they are together in bed using their puppet alter egos, Tara called her rep to complain.
“They’re trying to do a sex game with puppets!” she screamed into the phone. “It’s not funny. … I’m not doing this.” Jim listened remotely, noting it might be the first “honest” thing Tara had said since arriving at boot camp. “I don’t want to do a sex act right now with puppets. Of course, they have five cameras on me. They’re right outside my door.” She went on to call this a “disaster,” and insist the experience was downright “horrible,” but when Jim confronted her she instead cited the fact that she was “terrified of puppets.” She finally agreed to participate in exercise, but without the puppets.
When she and Dean finally did discuss their sex life in front of the group, though, no one believed a word they said. Adam Friedman noted that he had never even seen them kiss, and pretty much everyone agreed that Tara and Dean were not having sex — and might not even be a couple at all.
Memphitz Heads to Court
It was clear that Toya was starting to feel close to Memphitz again just as he was being pulled away. She was in tears as she hugged him goodbye.
“I’m finally starting to feel a reconnection between my husband and me, and I’m worried that there’s a chance he might not get to come back,” she cried. It turned out that her brother had been convicted on a similar charge and been sentenced to 10 years in jail, so it made sense that Toya feared Memphitz might suffer the same fate.
Judge Lynn Toler Lays Down the Law
During their evening review, Judge Lynn Toler didn’t hold back. She told Brittish, straight up, not to “suffer” through Lorenzo’s excessive sexual demands, and she warned Lorenzo that if he pushed Brittish to have sex when it wasn’t enjoyable for her, it might backfire.
Toler then told Adam he was too fearful (not just about sex, but about pretty much everything), and encouraged him to be more open with Lisa D’Amato. And while the Divorce Court star admitted that Michelle and Cody’s sex life seemed to be strong, she cautioned them that sex “that good can be confusing.” (In other words, just because the sex was good didn’t mean the relationship was.)
When it came to Toya, the judge sat in Memphitz’s empty chair and took Toya’s hand, promising they were going to “get the mess fixed and get him back.” Toler then dismissed Tara and Dean as being “clearly afraid” of real intimacy. Tara did not like that so much.
Back in her room with Dean, Tara whined, “I got called out,” and Dean snapped back, “You know what? Give me a f–king break.” Tara told him to stop, and he added, “Dude, you f–king act like a f–king crazy person! I’m so sick of lying!”
Lying — hang on a second. Lying about what? Could he mean lying about their relationship (as so many of the other couples have speculated)?
Tell Us: Do you think Tara and Dean might not be a real couple after all?
Marriage Boot Camp: Reality Stars airs on We TV Fridays at 9 p.m. ET.
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