The gloves are off! (Except instead of gloves, they're bras.) The Wednesday, April 20, episode of The Real Housewives of New York City opened in the midst of Dorinda Medley's ill-fated "bra party" (yes, that's a thing), where the hostess was on the brink of a meltdown after her fiery exchange about her boyfriend, John Mahdessian. ICYMI, both Bethenny Frankel and Ramona Singer expressed their, um, "concerns" about Dorinda's man, and Dorinda wasn't all that receptive.
Newbie Housewife Jules Wainstein seemed pretty mortified by the "elderly" ladies acting that way, noting to the camera that she thought they would "be a little more mature." She had her own issues to deal with, though, as Carole Radziwill struck up a convo with her about Wainstein's weight — or lack thereof. "I'm healthy. I get my period every 30 days," Jules insisted. "Even you saying that is a little scary," Carole replied.
Meanwhile, Ramona tried to do damage control by apologizing to Dorinda, but it came across as wooden and weird rather than authentic, and pretty much no one bought it — especially not Dorinda. "I am so angry, pissed, horrified!" she lamented to the camera. Oh, if she only knew what was coming.
John Crashes the Party
By some unexplained means, the man of the hour heard that there was drama going on at the event, and for some reason he thought the best way to deal with it would be to barge in. (Disclaimer: Before barging in, Dorinda's boyfriend called her to say, "Tell any bitch that talks smack about me …" The rest wasn't audible, but suffice it to say, Bethenny was not impressed.)
A few minutes later, John stormed in and began accusing Bethenny of stealing the name Skinnygirl from his friend, who apparently started another brand of health-conscious foodstuffs called Skinny Cow. Bethenny denied any wrongdoing, prompting John to strike back with, "You don't know what love is!" Umm. OK. That seemed kind of off-topic, but whatever. The fight continued to escalate until Dorinda cut in to say, "You two have both broken my heart!"
John responded by accusing Bethenny of being "jealous" of his relationship with Dorinda [insert eye-roll here]. He then tried to drag Dorinda home, but she told him, "Get the f–k out of here."
When he refused, Dorinda told him he was "an embarrassment." To the cameras, she admitted John's aggression scared her "on many levels." Dorinda then added, "I don't have any desire to go forward with these ladies. I don't have any desire to go forward with John at this point. I just want to get out of here and cry, and that's what I'm going to do."
Bethenny and Ramona Commiserate
While Sonja Morgan helped Luann de Lesseps go apartment hunting, Bethenny and Ramona caught up to debrief about what went down. Ramona revealed that Dorinda had texted her, saying, "You were my safe place, and I loved you." And while Ramona admitted she would take back telling Dorinda what she'd heard John had said (about taking Viagra and having sex with her all night), both Bethenny and Ramona agreed that Dorinda was taking this a bit too hard.
They then called Jules to try to get her on board the (unofficial) "we hate John" train, but Jules refused. Bethenny reasoned that since John and Dorinda had introduced Jules to the group, she felt some loyalty and wasn't going to get in the middle. Then Bethenny also added that Jules wasn't that smart.
Dorinda Might Be Out for Blood
Not surprisingly, Dorinda made good on her promise not to stay with Ramona in the Hamptons. Fortunately, Jules and her husband opened up their house (which was still a construction zone) to the couple. Dorinda started off saying she didn't want to talk about the situation with Bethenny and Ramona, and then launched into a passionate tirade about it.
"Here's the thing — you say you're sorry, but it's like when you crack a mirror. It's cracked now," Dorinda explained. And while she gave Bethenny the benefit of the doubt, arguing that the Skinnygirl founder thought she was helping, Dorinda wasn't making any excuses for Ramona. "She broke my heart. She was in the fourth row at my husband's funeral. This is real. This was real," she said.
Then Dorinda laid down the law. "You're not nice to John, you're not my friend anymore," she explained. "I've chosen him so, therefore, this is what you got. Be nice to him, I'll be nice to you. You're not nice to him, we're done." She emphasized how much she meant it by miming slitting her throat.
Bethenny and Dorinda Go Head-to-Head
Once they all got out to the Hamptons, Bethenny, Dorinda and Ramona met for dinner to calm the waters — well, that's what Bethenny and Ramona had intended, at least. "I'm going to let Ramona know that I think she's a piece of s–t," Dorinda warned the camera.
She immediately laid into Ramona, saying she was "surprised on so many levels" about Ramona's accusation about John. Then she argued John would never say that. "It's low-class. It's disgusting. It's despicable," she added.
Bethenny then piped up to tell Dorinda to "check" herself, pointing out that when John walked in and started going after her, all he did was prove that everything she'd been saying about him was true. In fact, Bethenny said Dorinda should be apologizing to her for the way John behaved and, shockingly, Dorinda actually did. Still, she wasn't ready to cast him off and ended up offering to just keep him away from her girlfriends. Bethenny and Ramona said they could both live with that.
Dorinda then confessed, "Here's the thing, you guys — I love him." Bethenny said she just wanted to make sure that Dorinda was doing what was in her own best interest, but Dorinda just repeated that she loved him. Realizing she wasn't getting anywhere with this, Bethenny bit her tongue and simply said, "Just take care of yourself."
Tell Us: Do you think Dorinda should dump John?
The Real Housewives of New York City airs on Bravo Wednesdays at 9 p.m. ET.
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