Prepare to scream like you've never screamed before! Fox's Scream Queens had its two-hour series premiere on Sept. 22, and the Ryan Murphy-created black comedy delivered on all fronts. Emma Roberts killed it as Chanel Oberlin, a sorority girl whose life comes crashing down when Dean Cathy Munsch (Jamie Lee Curtis) makes House Kappa open its doors to mere plebes.
Horrifying, right? Well, Greek drama is nothing compared to the fact that there's a masked killer on campus. Will Ariana Grande and her half-ponytail make it out alive? Read on to find out.
Mo' Pledges, Mo' Problems
Welcome to House Kappa, home to Chanel and her minions (including Grande, aka Chanel No. 2). These ladies were living their best lives until their sorority was invaded by candle vlogging basics, including good girl Grace Gardner (Skyler Samuels), who dreamed of joining Kappa like her late mother did before her.
The problem? Grace immediately clashed with Chanel over the murder of Kappa's maid, Ms. Bean (Jan Hoag). #Praying
RIP Ms. Bean
Clutch your pearls! Chanel was majorly buggin' due to Kappa's influx of plebe pledges, so she did what any normal person would do…pretended to boil her maid's head in a vat of oil to scare everyone off. The problem? The oil was actually hot and poor Ms. Bean ended up, you know, fried to death.
While Grace initially tried to contact the authorities, she ended up helping Chanel and her sorority sisters –– including mega-nerd Hester Ulrich (Lea Michele) –– dispose of the body in a freezer. Ain't no thing, except the body disappeared. Dun, dun, dunnnn.
Bye Forever, Ariana Grande
So, there's a psychopath in a devil mask wandering around campus. We don't know much about him, but we do know that he spray-tanned Chanel's predecessor with hydrochloric acid, and it only took him about five minutes to murder Ariana Grande. That's right, Chanel No. 2 is dead, and met her end in the most tragic way ever: while firing off a tweet. But that's nothing compared to what this horned superfreak did to new pledge "Deaf Taylor Swift." Not to be dramatic, but her head was mowed off.
So, how did Dean Munsch handle Deaf Taylor Swift's murder? She hired security officer Denise Hemphill (Niecy Nash), whose partner was almost immediately stabbed to death. Womp. But hey, at least Grace's hot dad, Wes Gardner (Oliver Hudson), was lurking on campus to protect his daughter –– though considering he started a love connection with Kappa's '90s-obsessed lawyer, Gigi Caldwell (Nasim Pedrad), he might be pretty useless.
Wondering what Grace got up to in the premiere? She befriended a hot-but-nerdy barista/journalist named Pete Martinez (Diego Boneta), and together they decided to restore Kappa to its former glory by taking down Chanel. The bad news is that after a quick makeout session, Grace found a devil outfit in Pete's closet and decided he was the killer.
The good news is that Pete and Grace learned about Kappa's sinister '90s past: Turns out a girl died in the bathtub after unexpectedly giving birth during a party, and Dean Munsch covered it up! Oh, and speaking of Dean Munsch, she has a weird crush on Grace's dad and is definitely sleeping with her students (including Chanel's boyfriend). Yikes.
All About Nick Jonas
You're probably sitting here thinking, “But what about Nick Jonas?!" The former Disney star plays closeted gay golfer Boone, who happens to be BFFs with Chanel's boyfriend, Chad Radwell (Glen Powell). Chanel and Chad broke up and got back together more times than we can count in this episode, but things ended on a low note when Chanel caught her man spooning Boone and went on a homophobic rant. Guess she's single and ready to mingle?
Either way, something's up with Boone. At the end of the episode, this hunk's frat bros found his dead body after what seemed to be yet another devil-murder, but –– spoiler alert –– he wasn't actually killed. Turns out Boone and the devil are working together and Boone faked his death!
Scream Queens airs Tuesdays at 8 p.m. ET on Fox.
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